u/DriftingIntoAbstract

I will pass it on to my son who will rehab it for himself so it will still live on. What’s out there that’s better quality than the kitchenaid? Mine gets heavy use and I just don’t feel it’s meant for that, I’d like something more sturdy but ignorant to what’s out there. Any other brands I should look into? Happy to make the investment, so I’m comfortable moving out of the kitchenaid price point. Obviously I make a lot of cakes and frosting and can’t live without it for that. But I also bake and cook all the things.

My husband has undiagnosed or sort of diagnosed ADHD. He 100 agrees he has it. He’s had it since he was a kid but it’s never really been managed. But he checks every box and had a shitty childhood. He cannot handle anything he perceives as confrontation. And asking how a chore or task will be handled is a big one. He works for himself and I am the bread winner so he has a lot more flexibility than most with time and money.

He can do most things around the house but getting them done is just about impossible. High executive dysfunction. So when something breaks or needs to be done, it doesn’t get done. It sits. There is no way for me to ask about it getting done with him immediately being super defensive and crashing out. Like literally if I ask, okay what is the plan for this? He immediately freaks out. And it turns into a whole spiral when I’m like okay, no need to freak out but you’ve sat in this for months and we need a plan. I understand it won’t be fixed this second but we need a plan. Are we calling someone? Are you doing it? If so, when? He just spirals and says I’m attacking him. And it turns into a whole thing because I get pissed because I’m over it. It’s already sat, I shouldn’t have to ask and now he’s freaking the fuck out on me for asking. Not even yelling or attacking, literally asking. But it turns into yelling quickly because I’ve already spent my patience waiting for it to get done and I have zero for a man acting like a child. Actually my children would never talk to me like that.

Is this an ADHD thing? Or is he just being an asshole? I have sympathy for the ADHD struggle. I know that’s why stuff isn’t getting done but the crash outs when confronted about it have to stop. It pisses me off so much that I do end up attacking him. Like I get it, you struggle with tasks management, it’s fine, none of us are perfect. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to not get it done and basically kill any free time because the tasks are impeding it and all I hear is “I have shit to do” on the weekends. Cool, so do I but I also would like to enjoy some of our free time?? And very little seems to get done anyway?? I work my ass off and I feel like we are still living like we did when we were in poverty and that pisses me off too. It’s the number one thing we fight about, and almost the only thing we do but it’s a big one. I just want it to stop and be able to move forward in life.

3 big babies, small person, 3 c sections. I can feel a few finger separation and I have horrible back issues and find it almost impossible not to hunch. I lift regularly and everything else has gotten stronger but I can’t get the core to strengthen. I do deep core workouts and holy hell are they hard and my back muscles always jump in to do the work. I have a DR repair workout series and I always go back to that because I can generally avoid using my back muscles with those but I also don’t see a ton of improvement and I’ve been working at it for a few years now.

My back pain is really impacting my life and has been for a long time. I’m starting to think muscle repair is the only way I will be able to get over this hurdle. I’ve seen so many women on here talk about how it improved back pain. Did you have diagnosed DR? Does the plastic surgeon evaluate for that? Basically I would do the surgery tomorrow if I thought it would help but don’t want to go through it and not see improvement. I’ve been to Drs, PT, chiropractor and no one talked about core strength even though I kept saying I feel like there is a hole in my stomach. Is this just very overlooked?? Not that it would surprise me at all that we would ignore women’s health. But just curious everyone’s experience with DR and muscle repair specifically.

And I’m at my wits end with it. We have very little family as it is because we both have relatively small families and we’ve had to cut out so many because of how toxic they are. What’s left and close by are takers. They want, want, want from us and do absolutely nothing for us. Literally had my grandma blowing up my phone because her TV was unplugged today? She lives in community with many other residents. There is a TV in the community room, she’s also able bodied. She drives and lives independently, as do the other residents. I feel bad that her TV isn’t working and it sucks but I also have a really demanding job and 3 kids at home. Oh, and I’m sick. We can’t drop everything to drive 20 mins to plug in a TV.

My mom isn’t far off and lectured me today because I was sick and I need to rest because I’m “doing too much”. Doing too much as in my job and taking care of my kids? Not sure what of those tasks I could cut out?? For rest? Mind you, I do prioritize sleep at night, it’s not like I’m staying up all night doing this stuff although I could, my house is a disaster right now and I’m behind on about 100 admin tasks.

We have 3 biological children, one is grown and I haven’t seen or barely talked to him in months because I really am busy and he lives an hour away. One of our sons is in the learning to drive/looking at colleges mode, one is middle school. And we now have custody of our baby nephew. Which was incredibly unexpected and a big adjustment. We took him right home from the NICU last year without knowing what the future would hold.

Our family did and has done nothing for us. Not a meal, not a load of laundry, definitely not watched the kids, not even held the baby so we could shower, not emotionally supportive. But they have expected holidays to be coordinated and hosted by us, to be hosted when they want to see the baby, help with tasks like plugging in the TV, tag along on vacations, and my mom wants someone to shop and party with, oh and someone to advise/listen to her problems. They have never went to any of the kids events or games, barely talk to the kids at this point but also want them to do tasks around their house like carry boxes and dust high shelves.

I have some chronic health issues and have been working my ass off since I was a teenager. I’m tired and was looking forward to getting closer to empty nest. Our kids are awesome and we love hanging out with them as they’ve grown older. Going back to baby world is hard and made doing stuff with our older kids a bit harder. Not to mention the complicated family stuff it’s brought us back into, oh and legal stuff. We make it work but obviously at the expense of time for ourselves. Which is okay, their childhoods are short and we genuinely love being with them and supporting them as they grow up. I took no maternity leave and just did my best (my job knew and was supportive). What’s crazy is coworkers did more for us than our families. I don’t expect anyone to come in and do all these things for us, but damn could they stop wanting to take, take, take?????