I went semi no-contact with my family
Contact between us was already low, but now I've removed myself from our family chatgroups, too.
This might sound familiar to some of you, but I've had a hard time fitting in. I was brought up in a strict religious household and reputation was important with lots of unwritten rules. It made a very unsafe environment overall, especially with the ongoing tension between my parents.
Eventually, I was able to move out with help from a social worker in my mid-twenties. After attending an important event to meet up with the whole family last week, mom pulled me aside to tell me I should put in more effort to keep in contact with them in a serious tone, almost desperate.
It really threw me off that she still tried to pull this. I wish she could see that after these last six/seven years, it had been necessary for me to step outside of our family dynamics for self-development, because I did become a better person. I simply took a different route.
As a follow up, I sent her a message to set a clear boundary: that I'm done adjusting myself for the sake of so called peace. That didn't go over well and it made me realize we can't reach each other, at least at this point.
But, I'm just.. baffled that they seem completely unable to understand where I come from, no matter how clear I try to make myself? Or do they simply not want to? As if there had been absolutely no way for me to do things "right". It does make me feel more empathic toward my extremely doubtful younger self though.
Idk, I just wanted to get this out because I still keep questioning myself, and outside perspectives could help clear things up.
Be gentle please 🙏