Ive lost hope in my life
Ive been f*cked by people all around me, family, friends, close peers. Im always the last choice. I lose everyone all around me. Im the villain in my family for just showing a single hance of emotion. I get told that im a 'ruthless bitch' or a 'narcissist' if I refuse to do something for someone. Friends have forgotten about me. They only seem to give 5 minutes of giving a shit when ive been sl*thing myself open or when I end up in hospital fromattemped ODs. This world is a cruel fuck8ng place, worse than hell. It's hell itself. Id rather have someone end my life as I always have to do shit myself and for others... im hoping I can finish my studies and leave my family and get away into the military. But idk if they'll even accept a fuck up like myself, ive fucked my life and i haven't reached a quarter of it. All i know I dont want to live anymore, but no one is going to allow me to leave such world, where im just a fucking object. I feel like a robot everyday, I useless towards people who seek comfort because I dont give a fuck. Ive given up and accepted that my parents isolate myself from friend group. Anything what they threaten to take away ive simply not shown a single care and that pisses them off.
Im simply tired (I have no one to rant to bc im a loser)