This lesbian is in desperate need for some relationship advice
Hi all! I have been following this subreddit for about 4 years now and really need some relationship advice from people who would actually get me.
Me and my girlfriend are both 20, studying in the same college and we have been officially dating for 2 months. We have known each other for longer but have recently officially gotten together after dating casually for a month. We have both had partners before are not each other's first WLW experience either. Of course, the first month or so always goes so magical and all but now we have reached a point where we are getting comfortable with each other and learning about our true personalities/habits.
Overall, I think a lot of our qualities and ideas match. Actually, she has always encouraged me to speak my mind and the way I feel.(I struggled with this due to some of my past dating experiences.) I can say our sex life is pretty great too. But I seem to have a bit of a tiny problem with a habit of hers: some days, she just vanishes from the face of the earth and I can't communicate with her at all. And if I end up telling her a concern I have on "those" days, she completely ends up dismissing me or only replies with 2 word answers.
I have asked her to be more open with me, or at least tell me beforehand that she was gonna "disappear" but to no avail. She just does it whenever she wants to and I end up doubting whether I said something that upset her. I do not approach this from a clingy way, I don't think that she has to be constantly available and talk to me for hours every day. I am a very busy person myself and often do not have the time to talk to anyone for too long either. She may also need alone time, we all do and we all should! But, I just want her to take like at least 5 minutes a day to ask me how I am doing or like, just being emotionally present in those days.
The urgent problem I have here is that we have booked a 5-day holiday to celebrate and relax together. Everything has been booked and paid for(including 2 8-hour bus tickets and an Airbnb). We have 5 days left until we leave and she has, again, vanished and is being really unresponsive towards me.
My biggest concern here is that my girlfriend will only stay for 3 nights during my 5-night stay.(she will leave to visit relatives and has a place to stay there if something happens). I already had some safety concerns with traveling even though I found a very nice place. I have tried to speak with her today too and asked her if something was up. I also told her that it feels very unfair when she expects me to be honest with her but when I ask her to talk to me she dismisses me. Again, she replied with minimal engagement and she was just sitting around watching a show.
How am I supposed to trust her when we are 8 hours away from our hometown? What if something happens and I get stranded there? I can cancel and get my money back before my trip but I have 4 days until I make the final decision. I have tried to reason and talk with her again, just explaining things without getting mad or shutting her out. But, she still insists on her short answers and I feel very lost.
What should I do? Am I being too harsh?I have a really big gut feeling about cancelling the trip, if I am being honest. Maybe I am being a bit too harsh and hot headed with the decision but I am not entirely sure anymore. I just feel very dismissed and sad. If you have read this, thank you so much! I really needed to let this out and I am so happy to have a community where I can share the way I feel!