I’m just waiting
Just made a lot of people’s day worse by getting into another car crash which was entirely my fault, gonna call insurance tonight and get that process going. Tried self harm seriously for the first time today and was pathetically only able to barely pierce the skin, now I think I’ll just lay in bed for a few days. I’m sticking to my plan of offing myself at 21 years old, so that will only be another five months. After seeing the actions of myself, my brother, and my father, as well as innumerable stories from history, I’ve concluded some people are born apathetic/malevolent and will never change no matter how much catastrophe they undergo or cause for others. Since I see in myself no amount of room for change, I will remove myself from the world so that there’s one less cruel person here to cause harm.