I don't know
Keep in mind, English is not my first language, so my writing may not make sense to some, and I've never posted here before. I, (22F), am struggling with finding the will to live. I've been struggling for the past 5 years, and the past 2 years have been worse than ever. I tried reaching out to family/friends, I tried getting professional help, doing everything that was suggested to me, but nothing is helping. I am looking for suggestions and tips and tricks on what and how to ease my mind a bit and actually start doing things that I wanna do. For example, I think about doing things and I just wanna do them, I can do them, but it gets too overwhelming for me to even finish, then I start to get depressed because I didn't get the life I imagine by not finishing what I started. I have a habit of wanting things, but not wanting to work for them. I sort of expect everyone around me to do everything. I don't want to work for what I want, and I am sick and tired of living and thinking this way. I run from all my problems and avoid them. I struggle with my body image too. I am always told so many compliments, but I can't see what others see in me. I don't see my potential, I don't have the will to live. I can't see what's the point in life. I have my family, my brothers and sisters, so many nieces and nephews, aunts, cousins, friends. But even though I have them all, my problems are starting to seem bigger than the love everyone in my life can give me. I feel like a burden and that I'm in the way. I wonder, "Who would I be to everyone if it wasn't for the financial support I give? How can I stop feeling like, if I wasn't here, there'd be one less mouth to feed, one less struggle?" I'm sick of feeling scared about nothing, and everything, all at the same time. I can't do my laundry, wash my dishes, brush my teeth, it's hard for me to take showers, cook and eat food, or keep my room clean. It's so hard for me to live lately, and I feel like I can't keep up with it any longer. I need to know what's the point in life, and to feel like I actually have a purpose. I want to want to live. I wanna learn to heal, and love, and be loved but I don't know how..