A wee vent
Hosting a very small dinner for the 4th. Invited my mom (80), I hadn’t seen her since Monday evening. She arrives and immediately I notice her forehead is bruised and has been covered with makeup. “Oh I tripped on my door jamb and fell”. I don’t need to ask her why she didn’t tell me. She rarely does. And as our other dinner guests are pulling up to the house she tells me she had a CT scan (that I didn’t know about) that showed at mass on her kidney. I’m absorbing this info as I am answering my door and putting on a desperate fake smile so I can get through dinner.
My father died of lung cancer 11 years ago. It was the most difficult and stressful time of everyone’s life. I am not ready to do this again. But she’s 80, it’s not out of the ordinary. I’m having so many emotions and this is the only place I can share the at the moment. I worry my husband won’t support me in my stress and anxiety. I’m an only child. I’m her only family. I’m numb.