Dad has mild bipolar and narcissism
My dad has been fluctuating emotionally for the longest time. I’ve been in relationships with people who have bipolar disorder, and I actually swore them off because of how traumatized those experiences left me. Now, those same feelings are rushing back since I moved in with my dad.
I’m not allowed to be fun or quirky around him. If I’m silly, he thinks I’m mocking him and will stonewall me for days. It’s a constant cycle: one minute we are bonding, and the next, he shines this negative light onto me. Honestly, my dad has the worst combination of narcissism and bipolar disorder.
Even before his accident, I always had to tiptoe around him, which is why I felt such a huge sense of relief when I left for university. Because of his narcissism, he is constantly belittling me. If I defend myself, he starts stonewalling and will even refuse to eat. I talk to my sister, who inherited the same bipolar trait, but she doesn’t take it out on everyone. She isolates herself until the episode is over because she views it as unfair to inflict on other people.
When I do nice things for my dad, mostly because I’m always seeking his approval, which I am actively working on in therapy. He just insults my efforts and laughs them off. I know he’s never going to change or get medicated at his old age. I’m just venting and pushing through until I’m free, because I really cannot deal with him anymore. I outgrew this dynamic while away at university, and I plan on going no-contact for a while for my mental health once I save up enough money.