r/family_of_bipolar

I love her so much and deeply attracted to her, she’s so sweet, loyal, caring and loving.

But i am always afraid so much while being with her, because her mania phase also includes psychosis, and that makes me feel afraid to share any private information with her, even my personal pictures or pictures i take while in my work feels super risky (which is normal to share things in regular relationships) but i am always afraid that my baby to be a possible enemy in her mania phase and leak every information about me or to be against me for whatever the reason. Also i am so afraid of having any sexual things with her because i am anxious that she might tell people (we’re in a conservative society). I am even afraid that if we break up at anytime that she can ruin my next relationship.

So my question is: even when she’s every day tells me things like (it’s honor to have a man like you in my life, you’re the best man i have ever met, you’re my guardian angel,etc) can she be turned against me for whatever the reason thinking am bad to her in her mind during possible mania?
Should i be afraid that much?

she cares so much about her medication. But at any point in her life she can skip it, and this makes me afraid.

so sorry for the long rant, i really need advice. my older sister is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she also is a drug user. she has manic episodes resulting in either her hurting herself or others (my mum, dad, me, my brother, stepdad). but today she crossed the line.

my sister doesn’t have a consistent housing situation, when she finds one she manages to compromise it, leaving her to sleep in her car, or be out all night doing whatever. she doesn’t stay with us because 1. she becomes aggressive, 2. we have two babies in the house and she often brings her substances and tries to use them around the babies. 3. my mum truly has tried everything when it comes to her.

yesterday my sister was in the hospital again because she had herion in her system, and she also took a lot of valium tablets. for some reason the hospital discharged her later that night and she came to our house to sleep. my mum let her, and she slept on the couch. woke up and was alrwsdy very agitated. my mum wasn’t talking to her in a demeaning or halfway she just asking a few questions of what went on and then my sister immediately got defensive and then started going off at her. She started raising her voice and I quickly took the babies into my room and then things escalated she started hitting my stepdad and bit him and pulling my mum‘s hair when we asked her to leave. We had to call the police and the whole time she was screaming to the top of her lungs. Neighbours got involved. The police have taken her to hospital now she’s hopefully being treated but I just can’t do this any more. I’ve been watching this going for years and there hasn’t been any changes.

Not to mention her and her ex-boyfriend have really really messy relationship and she post a lot of embarrassing things online that my friends and our family have to see. It’s just so embarrassing having your sister act like that and then other people seeing it. I really don’t know what to do. I feel so like helpless and don’t wanna burden my mum with any more of this so I hope you guys could give me some advice on how I can deal with this. Thank you.

Mia moglie senza nessun avvisaglia, sposati da 15 anni con 2 bambini, mi dice di non provare niente più non si sa da quanti anni e mi caccia di casa. Dopo pochi giorni chiede separazione. Nei mesi precedenti avvisava una rabbia che non capivo, e tanta ansia. Stava prendendo Xanax, haldol e poi il mese precedente il dottor le ha dato zoloft. Nelle settimane successive al suo exploit sono state tremende, manifestava una rabbia esagerata nei miei confronti, incollandomi di tutto. Sono passati tre mesi e siamo quasi alla separazione e manifesta ancora rabbia nei miei confronti. Non aveva mai avuto un comportamento del genere. Può essere una crisi bipolare??

Scende quasi tutte le sere e fino ad ora ha ricercato uomini da contattare per amore. Aiutatemi a capire

I don't even know how to do this kind of thing, posting on here. My friend told me to try reddit so here I am.

My daughter has bipolar disorder. I won't get into all of it but it has been one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with and I've dealt with a lot. I work long shifts, I come home tired, and then I'm right back on edge wondering what kind of night it's gonna be. Is she okay. Did she take her meds. Is she sleeping. I haven't had a real night's sleep in I don't know how long. I'm 54. I'm not one to ask for help. But I'm telling you I am running on fumes. My husband and I barely talk because this has taken over everything. I feel guilty that this is happening to my family. My younger two are 18 and 19, they don't say much but I am worry about them too. They have gotten into so many nonsense fight with her, they are good kids but are acting out. And I don't say any of this to anybody because what are they gonna say about me and my family.

I was looking around online and I found this page Held & Seen Coaching. From what I can tell it's run by a woman named Yoyce Galvan who has a masters in psychology and has been working in mental health for years, but she looks young like in her 30s. What would she knows about my situation? But, i liked that she focus on the family not the person with the diagnosis and I kinda feel like someone finally understood what this is like. or maybe i am just looking for someone to understand me. I don't know anything about coaching, never done anything like this, and I don't want to waste money on something that isn't real. Has anybody used this service? Is it worth it? Did it actually help you? What was it like? Just looking for honest opinions from people who've been through something like this. Thanks.

My husband started smoking weed four years ago to help with his aggression. It turned into him smoking non-stop. He quit his job (we agreed) with the goal that he would find something he was truly passionate about and start a journey towards that whether he would work or go back to school. This didnt happen and instead he would smoke all day everyday. He would not help around the house until I absolutely begged him to and even then he would tell me what he did and say "i did what you asked for, master." To be fair, there were moments when he would do things without me asking. He started spending so much money that it became stressful for me - like over 10k one year on food delivery. He ended up having a break from reality and insisted that he was God and that we all live in a simulation. He even bought a tent and said he would go live on the beach as to not participate in society anymore. I was worried he would hurt himself and he checked himself into a facility where he was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. After looking it up and speaking to his doctors, his family and I agree that this is logical because he goes through periods of mania and will not sleep for DAYS. When he came out, he agreed to go to therapy and we ended up only going a handful of times before he said we didnt need it anymore. I ended up applying for jobs for him (with his permission) and he landed a job for about three months. He ended up quitting though because he couldnt handle the people, the commute, and basically working in general. He also refused to take any medication that was prescribed to him because he said he was fine and the smoking continued to increase. I try to get him to go out but he never wants to leave the house and doesnt like it when I invite people over. This behavior only got worse when he entered another manic period and continued to think he is God and that I am "dead" and am haunting him. I told him if he continues that I would need to leave because I can't take the emotional whiplash anymore. He gets road rage in cars and thinks people are following him. I was hoping that he would realize I was serious and get help but he told me to leave and called my parents and told them I was hurting myself which forced my hand to come clean about everything. He said he wasnt going to change and if I didnt like it then I needed to leave. I've been staying with my parents for a month now with no contact and I'm moving forward with the divorce. This is so incredibly hard and I'm in agony. I guess I'm on here just trying to get information if anyone has been through something similar? I love him so much and this is killing me. I'm not sleeping or eating. I'm crying all the time. My body is in physical pain and I'm so confused if I'm making the right decision. We've been together for over a decade and I dont know how to live without him. Can someone please tell me if I'm making the wrong decision? What if he decides to get better and I'm not there for him? What if he gets hurt? I dont want my marriage to end and I know its supposed to be for better or for worse, but I can't make him do his part; does this make me a bad wife? Am I just giving up on him?

tl/dr: Am I abandoning my best friend?

Hello everyone, I’m up to here with living with my mom, she has paranoia, bipolar, and high functioning schizophrenia. She’s not safe to live with she’s mentally and physically abusive, and she’s always burning food, “cleaning” but just making it worse, and she takes everything that doesn’t belong to her. She’ll wake us up at ridiculous hours, it’s not healthy. I’m scared living with her, I don’t feel safe at all.

Recently she got arrested for violating a restraining order and was ordered to go to mental health court, they said they were going to get her into a program where she would be forced to be on medication. But of course, they didn’t and they just released her from jail instead. We’ve tried and she’s had multiple visits to the mental health ward when she has break downs, but somehow we’re still not allowed to put her into medication because she doesn’t consent. I truly don’t know what to do anymore, I feel crazy, living with her makes me want to die🤕

does anyone know what I could possibly do? I’m so tired of this, she keeps saying that I killed our dead brother, and that he’s still alive and our neighbors kidnapped him, it’s so hard hearing this every single day.

I’m looking for advice on how to support a longtime friend whose behavior has become increasingly concerning without completely blowing up the friendship.

We’ve been best friends for 18 years. There have been periods where we took breaks from each other because of situations similar to this, but this time I don’t want to just disappear or avoid it. She was my maid of honor last year and was doing really well at the time. She seemed stable, grounded, and was taking care of herself. Recently though, things feel very different and I’m honestly scared for her family.

She has bipolar disorder and says she is still taking her medication, but a lot of her recent behavior reminds me of past manic periods. She cannot keep a job and increasingly says she “can’t work for anyone else.” I recently gave her a professional reference and she walked out during training, then immediately started talking about calling a lawyer. This kind of impulsive reaction keeps happening.

She smokes marijuana heavily and compulsively. She stopped drinking a few years ago after cheating on her husband during a really destructive period that almost ended her marriage and affected her relationship with her child. Since then, the marijuana use seems to have replaced the alcohol.

Her communication with her family has also become really volatile. She screams at the top of her lungs, cries constantly, threatens divorce, and creates chaos in the house. Her husband is the only one working right now and he supports her fiercely, but I can tell he’s exhausted and struggling.

Financially, things are concerning too. She signed a lease for a studio space for a business she realistically could not afford while unemployed. She spends money impulsively even when they are already struggling. She recently got a new job and one of the first things she did with the little money she had was buy weed.

I’m also struggling with how she talks about her daughter. Her daughter is 6 and genuinely such a sweet kid. My friend is convinced she has autism despite multiple doctors apparently telling her otherwise. This part is especially difficult for me because my own mother constantly diagnosed me with things growing up and it created years of anxiety and insecurity for me.

Her child also keeps getting removed from private schools, but I never get a clear explanation why. I suspect there are financial issues involved, but I don’t know for sure.

What makes this harder is that after these episodes, she eventually stabilizes, apologizes to everyone, and has insight into the damage she caused. Then over time the cycle repeats.

I’m pregnant with my first child and I’m at the point where I’m questioning whether I can safely keep this level of chaos in my life. At the same time, I love her deeply and don’t want to abandon her if she genuinely needs help.

How do you approach someone you care about when you believe they are spiraling, especially when they insist they are fine? How do you set boundaries without completely cutting them off?

Hello everyone, I really need some advice. My partner is going through something that I don’t know if it’s mania or something else, but it seems to have progressively gotten worse over the last several days.

It started more subtly with them talking about not sleeping, feeling exhausted, sad, or “like a top spun up.” They travel for work, and during this last trip they were texting strange back-to-back messages that didn’t make sense, talking oddly, and acting unlike themselves. They also left unusually late and were saying things like “everything happens for a reason.”

After coming home, things escalated. They started buying tons of new clothes, shoes, cologne, instruments, and random things. They’ve been spray painting things, breaking objects, leaving weird items around, and their condo is now a complete mess. They’re drinking heavily, smoking nicotine again after years, and constantly drinking Monster/Red Bull. They also quit their job, drive either aggressively or extremely slow, and have become very paranoid and suspicious, especially toward me.

They suddenly told me we need to break up and moved all my belongings into another room. What’s confusing is that sometimes they sound somewhat normal and grounded, but other times they say things that make no sense at all. They’re tense, angry, and feel like a completely different person. I honestly don’t recognize them right now and I’m really worried.

Has anyone experienced something similar or have advice on what this could be? Sorry if this is all over the place, it’s been a very overwhelming few days.

My brother (36m) has a “working diagnosis” of bipolar I, but won’t acknowledge it. He has extreme hallucinations and delusions that he absolutely believes are real (from thinking he is Moses to being beat up by the Archangel Michael to being so glad our sister who died two years ago is “back,” believing my mom put fleas in his laundry and yells at him from over 200 miles away [not on the phone], etc.). Over 10 years I’ve never heard him admit that his “spiritual experiences” didn’t happen.

A couple weeks ago, he lost his job because of a manic episode, had strangers call the police on him at least 4 times, called many friends and family who called/messaged us because they were concerned, and we finally convinced him to go to a private in-patient treatment center. He is there now and refusing to sign his treatment plan because it includes the bipolar dx and he says he doesn’t have that. He told my dad he’s there for trauma and grief counseling only.

My dad thinks we need to encourage him not to see bipolar/mental illness as a stigma and to accept treatment like he would for physical illness, and I think that is good. But I also think at some point it would help if he accepted that he is hallucinating.

It must be terrifying to think your brain is lying to you about reality, so I feel like I can empathize a bit with why he doesn’t accept it. But was there anything that helped you or a loved one to come to that realization? What convinced you/them that they should seek/receive/accept treatment? I don’t know if I can help him, but I love him and I want this treatment to help so he can live his life and feel successful. Thanks.

Hi I’ve posted a couple times here and am, once again, looking for advice. My mother with bipolar is in active psychosis and at first, we weren’t too concerned about her harming herself or others because it didn’t seem to be going that way. Now, I am receiving texts from neighbors of hers that she is actively going into oncoming traffic and that police HAVE been called, but they quite literally aren’t doing anything. They won’t cite her, arrest or 302 her. What other options do I have to try and get my mom help? FYI, I live in the US.

my sister, 12 F has been telling me ways she will kill me when "she gets the chance". I am an 18 F who lives in an apartment. When we lived at our parents houses together she would physically attack me, for example when she broke my ribs. She has continuously told me things she wants to do to hurt me. My mother says shes bipolar (it runs in my family) but my dad says moms lying. Theyve been divorced for 2 years from my mother cheating.

Im the only person she does this too. Am i wrong to want to report her behavior to her school or my parents for not acknowledging her behavior? Shes clearly unstable, failing school, vaping/weed, self harms, and violent acts towards me for years.

What can I do to help without ruining her life and my relationship with my family?

My brother who was diagnosed with the bipolar disorder ten years ago, committed this April a suicide. He had his episodes (mania, depression) 10 years ago, then he managed to get out of them and finally he even managed to live without taking the drugs and his life was quite stable. He was never really himself anymore (he used to spread the conspiracy theories or talked about physics very detailly) but he was still my brother and we spent good times together during that time. He also got married and became a father. Unfortunately last year the mania came back, he was hospitalized many times and this year he was in depression. He came out of the hospital and didn't want to talk to anyone besides his wife. He also visited his doctor. The medication he used had strong side effects and he couldn't bear them (constipation, couldn't sleep or nightmares when he slept). He wanted lithium and wrote about it to his doctor but couldn't wait for it and in April he committed a suicide.

I feel devastated because I feel I did nothing to save him. I stayed away because he didn't want to talk to anyone and I listened to his wife who kept saying that I cannot help anyhow and I sincerely believed my brother will come out of it himself like last time, I didn't want to interfere. Now, that he is gone, I realize what he went through and the guilt is all over me because I could have done so many things to help him.

I could have helped him to find a new doctor who would prescribe different medicine, I could have helped him to find a support group (people who have the same illness and function with it) to show him it is possible to live with this disorder, I could have visited him more, talked to him more, bring my kid to him more often to joy him up, I could have helped him find a job (he was worried that he won't find any) as I had some ideas and eventually he could have easily even worked in my own company. I could have just stepped up and caid "No-one is left behind! I will help you!". But I did nothing because I didn't know things are so bad. I am angry at myself for listening his wife and not trying to do anything. And I am so sad because I honestly believe if I have saved him we could have had ten more stable years ahead. Now he cannot see his daughter growing up. No he cannot see my kid going to school. My kid has no uncle anymore (he was an amazing uncle). My niece has no father. I don't have a brother anymore.

so i posted here abt 2mo ago when my (now ex) partner was first admitted to the hospital. they presented with mania w psychotic features that only became serious after getting a new weed pen. i was able to stay with them through that first hospitalization, which was 3 weeks. they got out and were clearly still manic, but not in psychosis anymore. not even a week later they were admitted again, as they were back in psychosis. they got out of the second inpatient stay exactly a week ago. we’ve been limited contact, but i got a text from them yesterday that was really concerning. to put it bluntly, panicked psychosis ramblings.

every time that i think we take a step forward, we take another three backwards. i know that there is a way out of this, i have family who have have REALLY struggled w bipolar disorder and have stable structured and medicated lives now. what is it gonna take?

Hi I 24M need some insight on a situation. So my girlfriend 25F is bipolar and I knew that going into the relationship. She is in therapy as far as I know and is on meds but thinks they might not be working as well right now. There have obviously been ups and downs with that but I’ve just kept being supportive and the bad stints usually get better after a little bit. She has also been very adamant about a future with me and has said many times how thankful she is for me and for the fact I stay through the tough times.

However about a month ago she got into a really bad headspace and said she needed some time to herself and to kinda not talk to or see anyone for a little while. She still texted me every few days and gave me updates as well as responded in some way on TikTok every day to continue our TikTok streak.

This was all fine until Monday when she had a bad situation with her mother that spiraled her even farther down. She was saying some alarming things that really made me concerned. She had been asking if she could come stay with me for a few days but then went silent after a few texts. She ended up blocking me on TikTok and when I tried to call her the call went immediately to voicemail. I panicked and ended up texting her mom to see if she had heard from her and to see if she was okay which unfortunately is a major emotional boundary for her that I crossed by doing that. She called me furious that I texted her mom and we argued for about 30 seconds until she angrily hung up.

I decided to leave it for the night and texted her the next morning (Tuesday) apologizing for crossing the line and calmly stating it was just because I was afraid in the moment and didn’t really know what else to do. She’s never responded to that but then yesterday (Wednesday) she blocked me on 2 of my 4 instagram accounts as well. As far as I know she hasn’t blocked me on text, Snapchat, the 2 other instagram accounts (which I think she just forgot I had cuz I never use them) or Facebook which I also don’t think she knows I even have.

Do you think it’s just an episode and she’ll end up coming back in time or did she split and there’s a low to 0% chance she ever speaks to me again. I love her with my whole heart and I don’t want to lose her but it’s also really tough and I don’t really know what to do.

I don't have bipolar. My wife does.

We have been together for almost 4 years. Separated now but together for most of it as she has untreated bipolar. I'm tied down to her through religious beliefs, and I feel genuine resentment. I want to love her, but this love feels like it's not enough when she doesn't put in the effort. She says that she wants treatment, but saying isn't the same thing as doing it.

She has genuinely never apologized. Not once. Her medical condition might explain her mood swings, but it's not an excuse to never take accountability. She says that the only reason she reaches out to me to reconnect is so that we can have sex. Not because I matter to her as a person.

She told me that she remembers feeling angry, and when I asked her what I did wrong, she admits that she forgot the reasons why. But because she still feels this lingering anger, she will remain feeling it instead of resolving it. I have never met such a person who thinks this??

We haven't been in contact for almost a year. I want to talk to her, but she blocked me. I can't go to her and reach her even if I want to.

You see, the last time we spoke, she said that she wanted to have sex but because I knew that this was what she always wanted, I decided to stop the cycle. I told her that I loved her but I also love myself. I cannot continue doing what she wants only for the cycle to keep on repeating. She then said that she will never talk to me ever again all because I refused to give her my body.

And she has stuck by her word since.

My heart is torn apart. I love her, I really do. And it hurts me that she doesn't love me back.

So should I be with someone else? But what about my marriage?

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Hi everyone
My partner (41M) and I (35F) have been together for about two years. When we started dating he informed me of his diagnosis (bipolar I) and as someone who had never really interacted with that impairment, I started reading up on it. The past year has been really rough, and over the last month he snapped and quit his job. We do not live together, but his parent helps him with his mortgage.
I am unsure of how to move forward. I am in love with this person. When he is stable he is the most caring, sweet, attentive, and loving partner. When his dysphoric he becomes very cruel, and when he’s euphoric he becomes really arrogant. When he’s depressed, he is super irritable and just flattened.
Naturally after learning a bit about the disorder, I anticipated a lot of these symptoms and have been getting better at recognizing behavioral patterns that are tells for when an episode may be triggered.
Of course it has affected every part of our relationship, but it specifically has affected our love life. He has zero libido—and when I’ve asked (because if I don’t ask we won’t be intimate for weeks at a time) he barely finishes and seems like he’s only doing it to comply w my requests.
It makes me feel unwanted, and that’s really been messing with my head. I ask for certain things and he agrees to do them and then does not.
Part of me is unsure if it’s bipolar or if he just does not like me.

I’m so in love with him, and watching him drown unable to help him up is so stressful for me, it makes me feel like a terrible partner—less of a partner and more like a failing parent at times.

Any advice?

Hi

Almost a week ago, my (F26) little sister (F15) got into an argument where it escalated and I had to call emergency services. The situation has left me quite shaken and I stepped back entirely (before this I was going to her house almost every day to support both her and mum). Although I know I’ve done the right things to protect myself during the altercation, it’s the aftermath that’s springing self doubt.

Like

“Was it even that bad?”
“How about what would happen when she’s back to school?”
“Technically she didn’t HURT me so surely I can go back right?”
“Have I just pulled back entirely to protect myself? Or to avoid the situation?

But if I have to listen to myself honestly, I’m still lacking a sense of safety which is holding me back from seeing her and her mum again.

I just want to know - with anyone who has had their LO get very violent while having a weapon, did you ever rebuild your sense of safety and trust? When you made contact again, how did you reach out? Was that break actually helpful for the relationship?

There’s a lot of what’s if and guilt - especially since she’s a minor and there’s more family dynamic stuff at play.

So my leaving question is - how did you start feeling safe around you LO after a shaky experience?

Hope the flair is right.

my S2B Ex-Wife is BP2, medicated, diagnosed for 7 years, medicated.

We're going through a divorce which hurts on many levels, acceptances is hard but also going through my pain and suffering and seeing what i've gone truth and accepted as love is also hurting me.

My question to everyone here, do BP 1 and 2, have a hard time with emapthy in general towards others?
No matter if they're baseline, up or down?
Or is its a personal trait that might get enhanced by the illness?

A while back I made a post about leaving my bipolar partner. I didn’t leave him as soon as he was diagnosed. We got through his episode together and made it past. We knew that marijuana is what triggered his mania and he promised he wouldn’t smoke again. He made it a year and a half before giving in and smoking again, triggering his mania.

Throughout that, he stole from me, cheated on me, he brought strangers into our home, he choked me, he disrupted my peace and my own mental health. I made the decision to leave him and it was so extremely hard although it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

I moved out and got my own place, I got a new job, and I’m so extremely happy. I get home and I no longer have to dread when he comes home. I am filled with peace. His behavior was getting out of control and it was so hard for me to handle. I loved him at his best, but I couldn’t handle him at his worst. He’s been going through mania since October and he’s doing better but he’s still not the man I fell in love with.

I feel extremely guilty for being so happy in life. Anyone who thinks I’m horrible for leaving has a right to their own opinion. I just needed to do it for my own well being. He hadn’t had a job in two years and I was paying for everything. He stole my card and spent my entire paycheck on payday. That really got me behind on bills. He just caused me so much stress with his behavior. It was very hard, but it was the best choice for me.

I’m just writing this in case anyone else is considering leaving when they don’t want to but know they should. I absolutely did not want to give up. I just happened to have family and friends who knew everything going on and told me I deserved better. His own sister and father told me to let him go as well. It took months worth of convincing for me to finally go through with it. I still love him and I worry about him but I’m no longer in love with him. I love myself and my life without him.

If anyone is considering leaving but struggling to do so, this is your sign that you can still be happy despite the heartbreak of losing your partner.