Should I continue with my partner
My bf (M28) has manic bipolar. When I met my bf I had no idea he was diagnosed with this, and early on he hid a lot of things from me. His use of weed (which he knew I did not like due to my upbringing) he lied and said he didn’t do it, I found out about a month and a half in. He also doesn’t take his medication.
I told him early on that I wouldn’t want to continue the relationship if he was going to continue to smoke, and we could just separate, because if he didn’t want to change I was not going to make him, it’d be just best to separate. He’d continue to beg me to stay that he would change and I believed him.
His grandma who I believe has undiagnosed bipolar, got into an argument one night, where she was telling him disgusting names, yelling because he had woken her up while she was sleeping. They got into a yelling match and she kicked him out. He had never shown me this side, but I felt so bad we ended up moving out. Everything got worse then, he would start to blame me for his grandma kicking him out etc. he started smoking more when he was not working and I put up with it for a bit till I told him again I felt he should stop, since it did not help with his outburst at all. He refuses medicine.
We’d get into arguments and I would tell him to leave for a bit because he would throw and break stuff and yell, and I did not want the cops called and for him to get in trouble. He’d go back to his grandma and tell her that I kicked him out and whatever else he believed so she grew to hate me, tell me things, call me names. He would excuse it and say that’s how his grandmother is.
This continued for months him wanting to stop, all of it, drinking, vaping smoking weed. But then I’d end up finding drugs hidden somewhere in an apartment that’s under my name.
Right now he hasn’t smoked or done anything and everything has been good. And even expressed wanting to get on his medicine. But now any time something slightly happens that he doesn’t like, he goes off, starts bringing up the problems I have with my family, saying I’m the reason why we got the apartment, saying that his grandma is right about everything she says, saying my ex abused me for a reason. And I’m so controlling because I don’t want him to drugs. And then within a few minutes will start crying and saying sorry that he didn’t mean it and expects me to be okay, and if I’m not he goes off again. I feel so tired, and anxious, I feel like I’m walking on egg shells. His family enables him so bad, have never encouraged him taking medicine and in his grandmas words “I should be happy with him because he can provide and take care of me financially” and his grandpa saying “he’s got a mental illness so I need to be the bigger person” I suffer from major depressive disorder so this always feels like a big kick in the face. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice on dealing with someone who has enablers, bipolar family or an addicted bipolar partner?