Advice for Parent of a Child Adopted by Stepparent Who Found Bio Sibling Online
Hello,
Long story short my son was raised by my husband by the time he was 1 and was adopted by him at 6. Bio father was in agreement of the adoption, my son is now 15 and hasn't seen bio dad since he was 2. Bio dad and I communicated from time to time up until 2020 when I began ignoring his messages (he kept being sexual with me and I was over it). He had always told me that he would tell his older son about his younger brother but I do not know for certain what he told me was true. Recently I found his older half brother on Facebook, he is nearly 18. I decided it was inappropriate for me to reach out to a minor so my plan was to wait until he was 18 to try and connect the boys and I told my son and showed him some photos and explained why it wasn'tappropriate for me to message someone else's child and bring family drama to them. Well, my son has a tiktok account and easily found his half brother there and asked me if he could reach out and I told him I felt that was up to him as he is old enough to make those decisions and it leaves me out of the equation. He sent him a message about 24 hours ago and left a comment on one of his videos. His half brother has been active most of the night and day and has not responded but did request to follow my son. My son is on the autism spectrum and doesn't understand proper boundaries and he is upset that his half brother hasn't responded and wants to continue to message him, share videos with him, etc and I have been telling him to give him time because we don't know how he feels about this. My son has very few friends, he has never had another child come to a single birthday party that he invited them to, never been to or had a friend sleep over, and is a very isolated and lonely kid. Me reaching out to their dad to see how his older brother is feeling IS an option though I don't prefer to do that. Does anyone have any advice or insight as to how he may be feeling or how I can help my son cope with this situation and the disappointment he may feel if he is rejected by his older brother?