u/Dry_Preference_4872

[QCrit] RADIANT - Middle Grade Epic Fantasy - Second Attempt - 55K

I'm working on getting the word count below 50K because I've seen many say middle grade is trending towards that, even for fantasy. I've added some extra trauma in the story hoping it helps.

I am currently seeking representation for my middle grade epic fantasy, RADIANT, complete at 55,000 words. RADIANT combines the high stakes adventure found in Impossible Creatures by Katherine Rundell, the humor and dark tones of Underwild by Shana Targosz, and seasonal magic similar to Chronicles of Weatherwhy by Anna James.

Don’t call twelve-year-old Lily a princess. Sure, her parents are the king and queen, but she prefers the term sorceress now. Much more intimidating. Besides, she has a magical ability to heal, meaning Lily is way more important to her kingdom than being a princess. Getting text messages at four in the morning asking her to heal a papercut may seem exhausting, but the Spring Kingdom thrives, and it’s Lily’s duty to keep it that way.

That was before the curse. All at once, everything in the kingdom changes. Her youngest sister mysteriously collapses, everyone falls sick for the first time ever, and Lily loses her power. But even without it, her duty remains the same. She searches all over Alluvia for an answer for why this deadly curse began only to find the other three kingdoms cursed as well. A clue emerges about a star located within the unknown that will bring the kingdoms back to order. The unknown, of course, being the Waldebosq—the uncharted wilderness where no one has survived.

With only four days until the curses destroy the kingdoms forever, Lily has to battle disease, starvation, and even man-eating trees, but the biggest threat will be herself. The health of her kingdom has always reflected her heart. She still holds onto deep grudges and pain due to a long ago loss, and Lily isn’t sure she’ll ever be able to get past that hurt within. If she doesn’t, the star will remain hidden, and healing will never happen to Lily, her sister, or her kingdom.

My eighteen years of teaching has gone from 4th grade to middle school, language arts to theatre arts. RADIANT was inspired by a strong female-led group of students, and since then, the story has had runs in both elementary and middle school. Through many years of adjusting and learning on stage, the story has evolved into what it is today. When I’m not writing or directing (which leaves little time left), I can be found on the road jamming to metalcore on the way to an epic hike.

First 300 words:

Dearest Princess Lily, my son is making a weird noise. Can you come fix him?

I really wish she wouldn't call me princess, but the message comes from my Languages teacher. She’s old and texts like she’s writing a letter. My parents are the king and queen of the Spring Kingdom, so technically my title is princess but princesses were cool back when I was six. I like to be called sorceress now. It’s much more intimidating. 

But regardless of what label people use for me, what's up with this text? I get texts all the time asking me to heal broken bones or fix cracked cell phones. But this? A weird noise? She makes it sound like her son is a broken TV, which I actually fixed for her last week. I touched the shattered screen, my hand glowed, my body tingled as usual then bam! Good as new. You know, typical princess type stuff. Just kidding. I’m not like other princesses of stories we’ve all heard because I have this magical ability to heal—a sorceress. Besides, my kingdom isn’t like the kingdoms of stories either. I’m not a damsel in distress, I don’t need a boy to rescue me, and we have cool stuff like TVs and cell phones.

Speaking of cell phones, mine vibrates again.

something gross just came out of Magnolia’s mouth

Uh…okay…I’m going to scroll past and ignore that one for now.

I think my face just exploded

Yeah these are getting super weird. Neither text makes sense, and that last one…well, if his face truly exploded, he wouldn’t be texting me. It’s kind of hard to do with no face.

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u/Dry_Preference_4872 — 4 days ago
▲ 4 r/MiddleGrade+1 crossposts

[QCrit] RADIANT - Middle Grade Epic Fantasy - First Attempt - 59K

I queried this novel back in February. Sent out 20 at the time and received zero requests. The comps by themselves were awful. I would've rejected me based solely on that back then. It was an eye opener for me. Since then, I've switched to first person POV (after a year of bottling this request by an editor) and made the story much more epic. This is my first attempt to jump back into the world of querying, and I've been told this is a great place to get brutal feedback. I'm not sure on the comps. I have a growing list of books that I think mine can sit next to, including the two listed, Greenwild by Pari Thomas, or possibly Underwild by Shana Targosz.

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I am currently seeking representation for my middle grade epic fantasy, RADIANT, complete at 59,000 words. RADIANT combines the high states adventure found in Impossible Creatures by Katherine Rundell with the magic and lore of the seasons of Chronicles of Weatherwhy by Anna James.

Twelve-year-old Princess Lily has never heard someone sneeze. She doesn't even know the word fever. No one in the Spring Kingdom has ever experienced sickness, and if anything less than perfect happens—a broken bone or a cracked cell phone—Lily has the magical touch to fix it. So when green goo mysteriously oozes from her sister’s nose, Lily thinks she might be broken. She places her hands on her sister’s face hoping to fix her like she’s done a million times before, but this time…her sister collapses.

A plague inflicts the entire kingdom, and as usual, they all look to Lily. She’s their healer, but her power is gone. She’s never doubted her role in the kingdom until now. In a panic, Lily runs to her friends in the neighboring kingdoms, but soon finds all four crumbling from a curse of their own.

The Four Princesses encounter angry citizens, undead monsters, severe storms, man-eating plants, and even the death of one of their own, but the biggest threat they face as they hunt for a cure to the madness will be their own hearts. Lily learns a terrifying truth, that she is the cause of the curse upon her people, and she has four days to figure out why. Four days before she permanently loses her power. Four days before her sister dies. Four days until the kingdoms of Alluvia perish forever.

My eighteen years of teaching has gone from 4th grade to middle school, language arts to theatre arts. As a director, I’ve written many scripts. RADIANT started as one of those scripts, and has now gone through three separate successful runs. It has now evolved into a level that I don’t think I can pull off on stage!

Thank you for your time and consideration,

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First 300 words:

Dearest Princess Lily, my son is making a weird noise. Can you come fix him?

Uh…okay. This is not a text I expected this morning. Texts asking me to heal broken bones or fix cracked cell phones? That, I’m used to. This, however, is weird. She makes it sound like her son is a broken TV, which I actually fixed for her last week. I touched the shattered screen, my hand glowed and my body tingled then bam! Good as new. Now, I stare at this text, trying to figure out what it means, when my phone vibrates and more texts come through. 

something gross just came out of Magnolia’s mouth

I think she’s broken

This is getting beyond weird.

“Do you have to go help those people?” my sister asks me, taking my focus away from my phone. Iris stands next to me on this rain soaked soccer field, and the disappointment is obvious in her voice.

I don’t know how to deal with this right now, so I set the phone on a bench where I can’t hear it vibrate. “Nah. You know how our people can get. Sometimes they can be a bit needy. Besides, nothing seems that serious right now.” How serious could a kid making a strange noise be? Kids make strange sounds all the time. I mean, I’m twelve-years-old and not really a kid anymore, but I still think it’s funny to make fart noises. “Remember that one time when your bone was sticking out?” I remind her. Now this was a much more serious accident and one that needed my power ASAP.

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u/Dry_Preference_4872 — 13 days ago