Need advice, help determining
(big post incoming, I know it might be a long read but I’m really looking for some help and advice from others, struggling with this for a long, long time)
I’m 24 yo male. My dick gets softer during sex and especially during blow job. I feel so small, but I feel like my full size is truly way bigger. I’ve been taking tadalfil, like 11 mg, and it makes me super full, like thickness, but my length and hardness sucks. I feel like I’m much bigger, maybe I’m just imagining or hoping that. Because it really has been this way forever. I have had dick problems my whole life. Particularly PE, since I hit puberty, ED I think forever but especially noticing the past few years. No morning erections. At all. Only if I have to pee I get like half hard. No spontaneous erections. Have to shake it side to side at the base during sex or masturbation to stay hard. But it fades quickly. It is the same issues whether sex or masturbation, even when I’m not nervous. I also have urinary issues my whole life, which doctors have done tests and said everything’s normal. I get this pain in the base of my penis sometimes, after I pee. It feels like pee gets stuck or doesn’t get all the way out. Then right at base it stings so so bad like a uti, but it’s not cause it’s happened my whole life. And then that burning stinging pain will stay until I drink a shit ton of water and flush it out. Last night it happened after sex and took an hour to go away. It hurts so bad I can’t even sleep. That happens to me like once a month. I notice it most when dehydrated, alcohol, or after sex. The first time I ever took tadalfil, I had an amazing sex. I lasted super long, even going raw, I was bigger harder longer than ever, but every time after has been back to the normal terrible way. Even with tadalfil. I feel like this is definitely a venous leak or structural issue. I’m turned on but it doesn’t help. It makes me feel so unconfident. I’m pretty sure if I would get fully hard my length would be around 6.5”, but idk cause I never have been fully hard and long I feel. And my hardness doesn’t last. So I feel like it’s not and I’m just a smaller penis guy, overhoping. I also get prostate/taint pain and discomfort when I’m hard. Like really bad. It’s super tight up there. And if I’m standing my boners are terrible cause my inner legs feel like they are squeezing. I Also subconsciously tense and squeeze my groin, leg area when sitting down, when something’s between my legs, and maybe I have some pelvic floor tension. Like it always feels like ima squeezing my butchers rben when I’m not. Maybe that is cutting off some blood flow, leading to less length and hardness? Idk. But these issues are not common. And I feel like if I was truly 6.5”, then I would be. But I am not and haven’t seen that. I just feel like I should be longer. As I said I still prematurely ejaculate all the time. Have since 15, I’m 24 now. Mad I get less hard while having sec. I also can cum without being hard at all. And my semen is watery clear, compared tot the white thick semen that is normal and I wish I had. My dick always has and still does point straight up when hard. There’s a big bend in it which is at the base, not in the shaft. I think at some point when I was a teenager I got frustrated with the bend in my dick and how tiny it was and I may have tried to bend it down too hard and caused a structural issue, leading to venous leak, but no side. I’ve always been very self conscious of my penis because it’s not one that points straight out, it points up, and I think that takes off some length too. I want a pointing straight out, thick long penis. Like 6.5-7” would be amazing. Instead it points upwards and I feel like it’s like 5”, but I swear it could be 6.5”. And it’s not very thick. When I’m in doggystyle I feel like my dick is like a pencil going into the Grand Canyon. I hate this.
Thank you