Comfort zone
S/O of a CD here.
A few months ago I found out that my husband has been crossdressing behind my back. Long story short, I wanted to leave him but decided to stay for the sake of our child. He likes to go out and get dressed, then hang out with other CDs.
Ever since finding out I've been different, always keeping my guard up in general, questioning everything that has happened so far, I can't move forward with all the past lies. Sometimes I would prefer he wouldn't go, and everything was back to normal, us being able to speak to each other about anything and everything. We still have conversations but he never brings up the CDing and if I do then he has nothing to say at all.
I've understood that I have my own stigmas around it but reading so many posts on here about CDs chatting with strangers here for validation is so common, sissiness, some who like to be dominated by their spouses, etc. Im afraid I'm not okay with any of this, but it's mainly to do with infidelity that I fear the most. He doesn't share anything with me once he's back from his outings which makes me even more so suspicious.
I'm sick of always being the one to ask and then he makes me feel like I'm being unreasonable with my questions.
Some days I feel I wish I didn't know, I know he'd prefer that. We've been discussing having another child, I'm not so sure now if that would be wise.