Am i wrong for not wanting to get back with a guy?
For context I am a young female, me and this guy have been on and off for ages.
Me and this guy have been on and off for ages now. We always fight over small things and i hate it, he always likes to fight with me over things.
Anyways, me and this guy do have really good time when we are together. He is really nice to me when he wants to be, but when he doesnt get what he wants he can be a massive dick. For me I want to find a good relationship and he knows that we have spoken about what we both want before. he agreed with me and said he wanted a relationship with me. (keep that in mind) so we tried to make things work. at first everything was great we went out on a date, and he met my parents on the first date!
The first few days after everything was amazing we were talking and planning our next date. then he ghosted me, unadding me on everything. I tried for 2 weeks over him, missing him so much. After i finally moved on he came back, adding me on everything we had this long talk. He said he was truely sorry and was having bad mental health days and didnt want to affect me with his problems. (i knew what he was going through, because i also suffer from mental health .) he admitted he was a massive dick and wanted to try again… So i forgave him, and we started trying again. But everytime I asked him to go our he had an excuse. First time was work which was understandable, next one was walking his dog, third time he said he didnt have time. i didnt think much of it knowing he was a busy person. so i just started working more. we talked quite a bit, then again he ghosted me.
I tried messaging him no response.. a few days goes by and he answers. he apologises saying he had been busying with work. i again forgave him saying its okay and i get it. we then finally started talking again and it was great until, one of his friends added me. he sent me a video, you can probably guess what the video was but it was the guy i have been going out with, with another girl making out with her. I asked him about it and he admitted to cheating. i said it was okay, because i easily forgive people and he we decided not to talk anymore.
A few weeks ago by and he adds me. Saying how much he misses me and how much he misses our relationships. Of course i missed him, so i agreed to try again..
dumb move for me I know.
After a few weeks of him doing the same thing, of not wanting to hang out and being dry, he messages me while he is drunk saying how ugly I am, and how much of a slut i am. (I am the opposite of a slut, i am a virgin. and have rejected his advances before. waiting for marriage. as I am christian.) how the other girl he cheated on me with was so much prettier. and alot of of things. he then unadded me. again.
After a few days he apologised and we started talking again.. this time I was sick of being played with by him. and i couldn’t deal with him being a jerk to me all the time, so I unadded him but messaged him through instagram explaining myself. i told him i have feelings and dont like how he has been treating me. and i believe we are better off being friends or not even talking. he agreed and said we werent a match and.. how he realised he was “not ready for a relationship.” which i agreed with and he got pissy. i then told him he should have told me before we started even dating because he told me he wanted a relationship. he then started saying some not nice things. so i unadded him.
a few days go by and a random account adds me. i find out through his friends its him. i add him wanting to know what he has to say. he then says how much he has messed up and how he wants to try again because he “loves me so much.” i tell him straight up NO. that he is clearly not ready, and I dont want to be dating him after the way he has treated me. he then proceeds to say I am nothing without him, and how no one will ever want a girl like me. which really hurt because of how much i really loved him. he then says i have ruined his life and if i dont get back with him he will end his life. i unadded him. his friends then message me saying how wrong and rude i am. and how I am such a horrible person. (i have no idea what he has told his friends but i dont think he told them the truth.) i removed all of his friends because I am a sensitive person.
but i cant help but feel very guilty, and i have thought about accepting his apology again and maybe he could change?!
please help a girl out.