I'm getting tired boss...
I've been transitioning for 5 years (Female-to-Male), I genuinely don't feel like I fit in with other trans men at all simply because of the stereotypes that go around so much (i.e trans men formerly being lesbian, femboys etc. etc.) that seem to be shared community experiences that I don't even relate to at all nor want anything to do with. I've been on this journey on my own recently ever since my 20th birthday in January where that was the last time I spoke to the last trans friend I had left. It's not just an irl issue but online as well seeing others like me getting attacked for not fitting into the stereotypes or being feminine/repulsed by it just makes me so tired of everything. We really seem to get the shortest end of the stick since we really just get rejected in most trans spaces. (by trans men and women)
I have very bad trauma with femininity as a whole (which seems impossible, I know) due to being a twin and having no autonomy growing up mostly because my mother making us wear matching feminine clothing and it just felt so wrong to me. And on top of that my mother and twin sister were the most verbally abusive to me during my teenage years and really brought down my confidence by a lot.
I've been doing fine with having mostly cis male friends but sometimes I tend to get 'othered' (like only asking me what my pronouns are and nobody else) but call them out on it quick. I'm at the point where I don't experience being misgendered anymore but still have issues with my voice that I will get surgically fixed in a few months(!!)
All I will say is...
LET MASCULINE TRANS MEN EXIST.
