r/TrollCoping

I'm so fucking tired.....I payed big (for my country it's considered big) money and when I told this guy about my attempt on overdosing, it didn't kill me but it did damage my kidneys, heart and liver I guess...I been vomiting like crazy that day. It was powdered coffeine and idk what he was thinking? Maybe he thought I tried to kms by drinking coffee or smth, he joked that "have you tried doing it with sugar instead?" Hahaha very fucking funny....It took me months to get energy and strength to finally do it and get clowned on for not using a "proper method" I guess? I try to live, try to do my best and I wasted money I been given by my parents. I had to lie to them about where I spent the money and such. Well at least I'm gonna hate the shit out of that fuck, maybe anger is a good enough reason to keep going? Even tho I don't want to. Please if you need help get help, my experience is just one fucker, not every therapist is a fucko

I tried to take my own life last night, I had everything planned out, the river in my home is big enough for me to jump in and let nature take its course, but I got scared and quit. I failed doing it. I have bitten my arms even more that it broke my skin, I am cleaning it up as i speak to avoid my parents waking up and seeing that their stupid pathetic daughter self harm. I am sick and tired of everything, I just want fucking courage to do it. Barely in my journey to perfection and I failed, either I end it now or continue pushing forward. I will keep going to be the boy I dream to be or I'll try again next time. Who knows, who cares?

*Is that the Bite of ‘87?!*

I’ve started considering the fact that I MIGHT need to go on leave a few months ago, then had the last of my wisdom teeth removed last week and had literally the best week of my adult life recovering from that surgery, despite not being able to eat much of anything and having 10 bucks in my checking account. I hate being autistic.

i went through one of the most traumatic experiences of my life (which is !! kind of saying something!!) in mid april, itll have been a month ago tomorrow, & im still pretty fucked up about it. like, pretty bad !! but ive. already told my therapist everything about it. sessions have gotten shorter, actually, because theres just .. nothing much to talk about 😭 i suppose literally all i can do is wait this episode out, we stay silly, trollers

It’s fucking horrible that this is all I can feel. Am I broken? What the fuck is wrong with me. People keep saying sex and sexual urges are human, am I not human for finding it all disgusting?

in the same day, she was also talking about the mother dog having an issue with her milk, making her puppies sick, yet can't fathom that I wouldn't be responsible, and could NEVER fathom that unvaccinated puppies outside in dirt, drinking bad milk might y'know, be bad for their development.

this started when I was like, 8 years old, I let one of my mom's puppies, a Chihuahua puppy mind you, sleep in my bed, I woke up in the middle of the night and found that I rolled over the puppy in my sleep , I was scared and ran to my mom for help as soon as I saw what I'd done

I expected solice and she insisted I did it on purpose and from that day onward she would tell me I'm sick and going to hell anytime a puppy or kitten died of a cause she wasn't even remotely sure of.

"well I don't think it's parvo, so you probably did it"

can you imagine having your own mother accuse you of this stuff for no reason and then having to dig a grave, Im sure my relationship with death got worse because of this, it made me numb or something idk

I let her tell me that for 17 years until I just lost my mind apparently

I'm applying to a local gas station fuck this fuckass job lmao

Context: I work for a dog groomer that owns a small business. The place is decrepit and she is very racist. And mean. She has her nice moments, so I was trying to be nice when I could. But then! This shit happened. Along with several ass Asian accents, her calling Asians "Orientals", and making a joke about me "not wanting the colors to be segregated" because I accidentally dumped the vacuum on the floor.

Fuck! I said fuck this fuckass job! The gas station folks like me a lot and said they'd pull my shit quickly. So fuck it!

The first day felt amazing, I was like, holy shit this is the best thing ever I'm gonna take a picture every 6 hours of my amazing hair, and then the next day, it was back to base. I still feel like shit. Why am I never satisfied.

Having supportive people around me definitely helped, especially around the time I was grey rocking. It made me realize that I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I was not just to have basic love, support and respect. It was a bit scary at first when I didn’t really have much of a reaction to my sperm donor’s rejection, but I had already gotten so much support that I didn’t feel the need to have support from someone I just didn’t have that much emotional connection with. I just built an entire world without them and escaped into it

I'm finally bothered enough by this memory to tell others, lemme state that no, I didn't do anything,

but why? why would she say that.

for context, my older sister had a terrible case of encephalitis and she was in a coma, thankfully she recovered and was allowed to leave the hospital, she was unable to move or really communicate when we brought her home, she was still reliant on a trachea tube and stuff.

she was sat In my old room, as we moved to our second house to be closer to her hospital, when she was released, we all moved back to the old house and she took my room, so I was pushed to the guest room outside the laundryroom, technically my room had a door to hers.

fast forward a bit and I noticed my sister was tearing up as I walked past the door , the normal door, so I told my mom , she checked her out and then the incident happened.

I find alot of my worse memories come from telling her normal shit and then she takes it as a way to villainize me

why? does she just wish I wasn't born or something? was it genuinely not enough that I was born early and the doctor's were like "he has a decent chance to not make it through the night"

I understand that her daughter was literally comatose and it caused her a lot of stress even when she was at home and considered stable, but why did I have to catch strays and why did it have to be something so disgusting

it's been 5 years since then