u/Advanced-Major-1629

I’m currently in a split. I feel horrible, I’m completely out of my “happy little self” mask.

I have a boyfriend. And it’s times like these where I wish I didn’t have anyone. I feel so much pressure to keep up the mask, to stay happy, to not be a burden- to RESPOND to him and his texts

I wish I had no one. I want to isolate, I want to push him away, I wish he didn’t exist. I don’t even know how I got in this relationship to begin with, I don’t know what’s “special” about me.

This is more of a rant because how could I possibly tell HIM this? How am I supposed to say “I don’t want to see you or anyone when I’m upset, because I truly believe that if you see me when I’m like this you’ll just get upset I’m not caring about YOU and leave anyways.”

This sucks.

Context: I’m talking to parents of these chrono-kids I’m watching play, and I’m close in age to one of the parents. Probably both of them, they’re younger parents

And all I’m thinking is how weird it is that I’m seen as one of the “older people”. I see my peers the same way I saw parents when I was far younger; authority figures, distant, etc.

I know how to play the part and be socially acceptable, but I don’t think I’ll ever be completely alright with that. The fact that everyone says I look way younger (closer to a 15 range) than I am just makes me wish I WAS back to that age. Everything around me feels the same as back then anyways.

I’m an apologist. And I’m an ex witch. When I see paganism, or atheists insulting the Father, I’m up and at em immediately.

I’m on fire for God but I know this isn’t the right way to do it. I cannot stay in an argument without getting heated, and I don’t know if he wants me to “argue” at all. I wish I could be like every other great apologist, who knows all the facts off the top of their head from years of study. But I’m so hot headed I don’t know if I’ll get to that point.

I’ve already prayed on it, but if anyone else has advice it’d be appreciated.

I’ll be coming into the OCOB MBA program- any other grad students just in GENERAL? Feeling like a rare breed

This is so niche but I’ll give an example.

Say you’re in a relationship, and someone (friend or otherwise) says they don’t like when you do something. Does anyone else feel like immediately retreating, or even going as far as to split on yourself like; “well, I did one thing bad, I think all of me is horrible”

Might just be me 🫠

I struggle with some semblance of anxiety, but mainly it just comes back to;

If I’m blessed with something, I fear it’s because God is setting me up to be horribly affected by something later.

So for example; I’ve only been blessed with a loving relationship now because I’m going to lose my parents to some accident. Or anything similar really.

I know this isn’t sound thinking but it terrifies me. I know there are trials and tribulations, we have to go through them and he won’t put us through more than we can handle, but every gift he gives me is tainted with my own fear. Like; “why are you giving this to me in the first place”.

Im 22, I recently got in a relationship, and I’ve been making a conscience effort to unmask around him.

Problem is: now I can’t put it back on.

I’ve been struggling a ton with cognition. I’ve been going nonverbal, or unable to speak coherently when it’s right on the tip of my tongue. Even with how I process information now, I feel like I’m just stupid. Things have to be explained a certain way or I won’t understand, and I wasn’t always like this.

I feel like I’ve already been in a burnout for months, but I FEEL myself slipping backwards. I’m so so frustrated, and I’m almost afraid I’m somehow losing something in my mind like dementia.

If anyone else has experienced let me know, otherwise I suppose I’m just venting.

We have almost 20 milkweeds scattered across our yard, and the 5 stars are moving out finally.

We’ve seen a lot of them on our massive cacti for some reason…

Anyone else?

Hey guys!! Newbie here-
I see a lot of people here with habitats with frogs in rainbow order, how do you do this?

Thank you!!

Hey guys, I’m trying to finish my anura color wheel, and for the life of me cannot find an orange frog of ANY kind in the pond!! If anyone is willing to part with ANY orange frog below level 8 I’d be very appreciative 😅🙏🏻 NOT tangelo I mean just straight orange.

FC: 569R7

At first I loved this app because it gave me an ability to learn dialogue as a writer. I made all my characters and spoke to them in 'interviews', then played with dynamics, and then it spiraled.

I'm watching my own characters form romantic relations, and it only feels like it plugs this gaping hole in my chest, when it in fact makes it worse. I didn't realize it till PS2 ruined it for me. This app makes me immensely lonely, and I think I'm past grieving what we had in the golden age in favor of being alright with dropping it.

Remember when the problems we had were trying to pass the filter by telling the bot to censor curse words? Good times.

So I'll preface, I actually REALLY liked pipsqueak, I thought it was their best model. But this one, just using it briefly, is super, and I mean UBER repetitive. Every swipe is just the first message but with different variations of the words, compared to legitimate different reactions. Good writing but ???? What happened??