u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar

Overheard my roommate saying random shit while tripping.

"If parallel universes exist, then none of us can ever lie because it would be the truth for at least one of our parallel selves."

"If I was a Jedi, I would use the force to clap ass cheeks. Instead of focusing on the dark side, I'll use my Jedi skills on the back side."

"Glow in the dark cum would be so fucking sick."

"Have my arms always been this long? What the fuck."

I overheard a sex worker yelling at a guy on the street.

"Go away, kid! I don't sleep with children!"

"I'm an adult! I have proof!"

"I don't want your proof! Go home and watch porn like most boys your age!"

"I'm 22 years old, bitch!"

"Fuck off, virgin!"