u/Due-Description5

Hey guys I’m starting senior year and I’m a little nervous for college. I’d like to go to a T40 uni but I’m not sure I can. I’ll share some stats so you guys can tell me where in most likely to get in. 4.0 GPA 1500 SAT Rank #30 FBLA VP HOSA Founder/ President Pharmacy Tech license Sterile IV Certified Scholarship Club member School committee member Junior class historian Senior class secretary UIL speech member Interning first semester of senior year at pharmacies Interning over summer at neurology clinics FFA member freshman year Figure skater, non competing Summer job as dispatcher at trucking company (family owned every summer since Highschool began) Associates in applied sciences

Hello I am writing this post because I need help. Maybe I don’t need help but I just need to vent I’m not sure. I know my post may seem silly because it’s not a “real” issue but I honestly don’t know what to do. I do not mean to be insensitive but I do need some advice. I’m a junior in high school and I am incredibly sad. I’m not sure if this has something to do with my ex boyfriend but it feels like I does. Him and I broke up on October 2025 and I think I’m still grieving the relationship. Him and I were together for a total of four years, while in the relationship he made me feel like I was crazy but I still stayed. When we got into arguments I got so mad at myself if ripped my hair out and scratched my face unconsciously. I felt so shitty in the relationship and I feel shitty now. I see him doing so great and I’m glad he’s doing amazing but it just hurts me because I’m not working as hard as he is. I’m constantly sad and I don’t know why. I’m stressed abt college yes but I don’t think that’s it. I constantly pray for something to happen to me so I can pass away. I think about ways to pass away painlessly and I am constantly hoping and wishing something is wrong with my health. I am always so tried, I want to do so many things but I am so lazy I have no motivation and no discipline. I feel so sad all the time.I always feel less than other people and I’m always comparing myself to people and in specific my ex it is so embarrassing. I feel unhappy with my life but I feel so ungrateful, I have everything I need. My parents are both present in my life I have two annoying sisters but overall a loving family. I do well in school, I am blessed enough to not worry about real life struggles but why do I feel the way I do. I feel like no one likes me and I’m too much sometimes. I feel sad all the time and I hope to pass all the time. Does anyone have any advice