I’ve had no contact with my old friend and I miss her
For context I am in my 11th year of high school and Ive known this friend for the longest time they’re my childhood best friend. A few months ago around November they started to distance themselves around me, I had one class with this friend and another one of our friends was also in this class but for me this class was the only class I had with anyone so I was always really excited to see them and be able to talk to someone. I think over time it’s definitely normal for friendships to fade but it just really hurt so for a while it was really weird between us. Also for context this friend is REALLY online, I mean she gets all the references which is nice but the downside of this is that the only things she would talk about were about things she saw online and our friendship slowly become solely about me watching the videos she would send me, now that wouldn’t be a huge problem normally but she would send me at least 40-60 videos a day and then the first thing she would say to me would be “did you see that video I sent you” or “did you watch my videos” and when I would say you send me too many!! She would say “just watch them when I send them to you.” That’s just a small example of the kind of friend she is and overall she would be very defensive and play off everything as a joke if she did something wrong. Not the best I know and I know I don’t need to waste my time with more petty arguments like that. After this same conversation was repeated several times I decided I wanted to communicate with her during winter break because she doesn’t communicate with me so I thought I would get the ball rolling and break the ice. I called her up and told her how I felt and she wasn’t being defensive she apologized and everything felt good and I asked her to hang out a few days after. (I hadn’t seen her outside of school in over a month- month 1/2) a few weeks later nothing was really changing in her behaviour and I was losing hope until both her and our mutual friend invited me to the 28 years later: the bone temple movie, I was super excited and saw the previous movie with them a year prior. But after I was invited heard nothing … no plan no time of when to show up.. then I saw that our mutual friend rated the movie on Letterboxd and it doesn’t take an idiot to figure that out. After they ghosted me I was SO hurt and confused. I blocked my friend and avoided her, that’s never my first step with problems but I didn’t know how else to make it known that I was upset and what she did was wrong, I heard from other friends in our group that she didn’t know what she did and that made me even more mad. It’s now been months after and nothing has changed, there have been time where we’re both in the same room and are kind of cornered into talking with each other and it’s super nice! We get along great and it’s lovely. All I want is to be friends again, maybe not best friends but I hate avoiding eye contact and other than the fact she can’t confront me about it and break the ice it does seem like she doesn’t want to avoid me but her pride is held so high so I have no idea. In our friendship I’ve always been the one to reach out and I’m just so tired of it. It’s not like I’m holding a grudge anymore, I’m not angry. If she reached out I would reply in a heartbeat, all I want is to know if she cares or not cause I’m getting mixed signals and I just want my friend back or at least to know if she does too.
Any advice is good advice to me and I would love to hear feedback 💕 thank you for taking the time to read this.