what do you do when NK “hates” you??
Okay I’m not new to this, plenty of kids have said I’m mean, rude, bossy, they hate me, etc etc, and my NK8 is not different haha but this is extreme for me. For context I started a little over a year ago, i work a little
more than full time and pretty much 95% of the days with him are filled with negative interactions. I figured at the start we just needed to get used to each other and I heard their other nanny was very permissive so I knew what I was getting into but after a normal adjustment period nothing changed. Hes currently in therapy and OT to see if there’s anything to be done because it’s not just me it’s EVERYONE. Hes a very angry and sometimes violent child and struggles with impulses like most kids at this age but its extreme. Just to name of few things that have happened: he will choke, give his sister friction burns by twisting her arms, punch, pinch, slap and spit at her and to me he will spit, pinch, push, and one time i was hit in the hit by a large bag intentionally. He’s extremely intelligent when it comes to school and socially he can manage at this age but I’m unsure how long that will continue because kids are brutal and their tolerance for BS lowers a lot with age. It’s brutal because I am payed well with benefits, home is VERY close to work, it’s a flexible schedule, I LOVE other NK and the parents because they are caring but not overbearing with me, i also appreciate how they listen to my concerns and are putting in efforts to help him with his issues. I’m just getting SO burnt out by this day to day torment. If im strict im a stupid idiot and he screams and throws tantrums, if i’m easygoing im NOT doing my job and then he will walk all over me, Ive been trying for basically 10 months to give natural consequences and stay calm which isn’t working either. I don’t think I can quit because this job is perfect for me and my life rn other than this major detail lol. I don’t need him to like me, I don’t even need him to go out of his way to be kind, I just don’t know how to not lose my cool but remain firm. Does anyone have any advice or resources for issues like this?? It doesn’t matter what is taken away or what is rewarded etc etc it’s all the same regardless, I know he’s struggling but it’s hard to care when I’m worried for his sibling, not only her safety on occasion but mostly because his behavior is rubbing off on her so badly