Lost my girlfriend to Dubai traffic
I’m not sure where to start. I’ve been sitting in my car for the past 2 hours in traffic trying to narrate my thoughts.
My long term - long distance girl friend broke up with me a few months ago because of the man I became after being engulfed in the bottomless void that is, the traffic of Dubai. Although we’ve been in a long distance relationship for a while when I was studying in another country farther away than I am now, everything changed after I moved to Dubai for a new job.
For the past year, I have spent almost 3.5 hours driving to and from work everyday, simply because I cant afford to live closer, and its turned me into a desolate, reclusive, bitter human at the end of the day and the start of it.
People weaving between lanes like the rules don’t apply to them. Horns honking constantly. Everyone angry. Everyone impatient. Everyone trying to gain one car length like it matters.
Its lead me to forget important days in her life, not have the energy to take calls or reply to texts and just be avoidant. Just because my mental battery doesn’t have anything left to give.
I can’t help it. Everyday after losing my mind in the bumper to bumper hellscape that is this city, I go home, into my room and just lie down still in complete darkness for at-least an hour before I can do anything. This life is not a privilege, it’s a curse.
But she’s right. The traffic has nothing to do with her. My inability to push through frustration and give her five seconds of acknowledgment does.
I lost her because I was too tired to text “I’m okay, just stressed from traffic.” Maybe in another life I will be a better man, and this city will be a-lot kinder.