Everything can change in an instant
It feels like a veil has been lifted from my eyes and now I can’t unsee things.
Recently, and very unexpectedly, I left my home and ended my long-term relationship. I got tired of feeling small, invisible, constantly pressured, and like I was never enough.
I’m still trying to process everything. I’m slowly realizing that I was in an emotionally, verbally, and even financially abusive relationship. During my first few days away, I came to this group and read your stories because I needed clarity. I needed to know I wasn’t crazy, and to reassure myself that I hadn’t thrown everything away for no reason. My mind feels like such a confusing place right now.
I’m struggling to make sense of what happened. I question everything, and I keep second-guessing myself.
The more I read your experiences, the more it hurts, and honestly, it shocks me, how many of the same boxes my relationship checks. The control. The yelling. Walking on eggshells. The moments of love that seem enough, followed by the emotional highs and lows and blown up fights over nothing….Reading your stories has made me realize that, in so many ways, what happened to you also happened to me.
I feel like I completely lost myself in this relationship. I didn’t see the flags, that maybe I didn’t fight enough?! It breaks my heart, and now I have to start over.
For those of you who have been through this, what helped you the most in those first weeks or months? this will be a long and deeply personal journey. Every day is a different emotion.
I would really appreciate hearing what helped you begin to heal…