u/Due-Way1477

For some context, I'm a very fat woman. I've been fat since high school, so this isn't exactly a new experience for me, but I've gotten significantly bigger over the last six years. Six years ago, I weighed around 230lbs (104 kg). Today, I weigh 348lbs (158 kg), and writing that number down is honestly difficult. I can't believe I've gained nearly 120 pounds over six years. There are a lot of reasons for it. Lockdowns happened, I had a pregnancy with twins, I started eating when I was stressed, then eating when I was sad. Eventually, eating became one of the easiest ways for me to make myself feel better for a few minutes. I also went through a pretty bad period of depression, and taking care of myself wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities. I've tried losing weight several times since then. I'll do well for a while, get motivated, start eating better, maybe exercise more, lose a few pounds, and then something happens and I spiral back into my old habits. So yeah, I've known for a while that I'm heavier than I should be, but today was the first time I've had one of those moments where I thought, "Okay, this is actually affecting my life in a way I can't ignore anymore."

I had a meeting at work today in one of the smaller conference rooms. The chairs in there are those horrible office chairs with armrests. They're perfectly normal chairs for most people, but the space between the armrests is pretty narrow for me. When I walked into the room, most people were already sitting, and I immediately noticed the chairs. I was also very obviously the biggest person in the room. Not by a little bit, either. But everyone else was already sitting, and I didn't want to be "That one fat lady who needs a bigger chair." I know that's irrational, and nobody would have cared. Someone probably would have just gone and found me another chair without thinking twice, but in that moment, I couldn't bring myself to ask. So I just picked one, and squeezed myself into it, and the moment I sat down, I knew I'd made a mistake. My hips were pressed firmly against both armrests. I wasn't in pain, but the armrests were digging into me enough that I could feel them the entire time. I tried shifting around for a few minutes, but nothing really helped. Eventually, I just accepted that I was going to spend the entire meeting being uncomfortable. And that's exactly what happened.

Then the meeting ended, and everyone started getting up. I put my hands on the armrests and pushed myself upward, but nothing happened. I tried again, still nothing. So I leaned forward and tried standing again, but still nothing happened. That was when I realized my hips had gotten wedged between the armrests. Then I just sat there for a few seconds, feeling absolutely mortified; I just could not believe that I was too big to get out of a standard-sized chair. I kept trying to get myself out without anyone noticing. Thankfully, at this point, most people had left the room. But eventually, one of the women from the meeting noticed. She came back over and asked me if I was okay. Then I turned to her and said "My bum's stuck in the chair". Thankfully, she was very kind about the situation. She just grabbed my hands and said she'd help pull me up, and I did finally managed to get up after that. But then I realized the chair was still stuck on my bottom. So I was standing there with this stupid chair hanging off my ass. And at that point, I just burst into laughter. It wasn't even particularly funny to me, but I just didn't know what else to do, and I said something like "Well, this is going great, isn't it?" which did get a small chuckle out of her. Then she told me to try pressing down on the armrests. So I planted both hands firmly on them, twisted my torso slightly, and managed to push the chair off me, and I just stood there for a second. Then I thanked her about a million times. She kept telling me it was fine. And honestly, she was still being incredibly kind about it. There was no laughing at me or making comments about my weight. She just helped me, which I am very grateful for.

But still, when I walked out of that office, I genuinely felt nauseous. Not because I was physically sick, but because I felt humiliated. I got to my car and just sat there for a few minutes. I kept thinking about how different things were six years ago. I was still a fat woman, and I still had plenty of insecurities, but I didn't have this problem. I didn't have to calculate whether I could physically fit between the armrests of a chair, and I didn't have to worry about getting stuck. And I don't want my life to get to the point where I'm constantly worrying about whether ordinary things are physically going to accommodate me. Also, when I got home, I told my husband the entire story, and he hugged me and said he was proud of me for finally admitting to myself that I wasn't happy with where I was and that I wanted to make a change. And that actually did make me feel a lot better. I have tried losing weight multiple times before, and I'm not going to pretend that this one embarrassing incident magically fixed everything. I still have the same habits, and the same problems. But I think today was the wake-up call I needed. And I want to make it clear: I don't hate myself. I just want to be healthier. I want to be able to sit comfortably. I want to be able to get in and out of chairs without worrying. I want to be able to play with my kids without constantly running out of breath.

So I'm going to try again. I'm 348 pounds today, and I don't want to be sitting here six years from now wondering how I got to 400. Also, if anyone here has successfully lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off, I would really appreciate hearing what worked for you. And hopefully, I'll be able to look back on this as a healthier woman, and it won't seem like such a big deal anymore.

For some context, I'm a very fat woman. I've been fat since high school, so this isn't exactly a new experience for me, but I've gotten significantly bigger over the last six years. Six years ago, I weighed around 230lbs (104 kg). Today, I weigh 348lbs (158 kg), and writing that number down is honestly difficult. I can't believe I've gained nearly 120 pounds over six years. There are a lot of reasons for it. Lockdowns happened, I had a pregnancy with twins, I started eating when I was stressed, then eating when I was sad. Eventually, eating became one of the easiest ways for me to make myself feel better for a few minutes. I also went through a pretty bad period of depression, and taking care of myself wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities. I've tried losing weight several times since then. I'll do well for a while, get motivated, start eating better, maybe exercise more, lose a few pounds, and then something happens and I spiral back into my old habits. So yeah, I've known for a while that I'm heavier than I should be, but today was the first time I've had one of those moments where I thought, "Okay, this is actually affecting my life in a way I can't ignore anymore."

I had a meeting at work today in one of the smaller conference rooms. The chairs in there are those horrible office chairs with armrests. They're perfectly normal chairs for most people, but the space between the armrests is pretty narrow for me. When I walked into the room, most people were already sitting, and I immediately noticed the chairs. I was also very obviously the biggest person in the room. Not by a little bit, either. But everyone else was already sitting, and I didn't want to be "That one fat lady who needs a bigger chair." I know that's irrational, and nobody would have cared. Someone probably would have just gone and found me another chair without thinking twice, but in that moment, I couldn't bring myself to ask. So I just picked one, and squeezed myself into it, and the moment I sat down, I knew I'd made a mistake. My hips were pressed firmly against both armrests. I wasn't in pain, but the armrests were digging into me enough that I could feel them the entire time. I tried shifting around for a few minutes, but nothing really helped. Eventually, I just accepted that I was going to spend the entire meeting being uncomfortable. And that's exactly what happened.

Then the meeting ended, and everyone started getting up. I put my hands on the armrests and pushed myself upward, but nothing happened. I tried again, still nothing. So I leaned forward and tried standing again, but still nothing happened. That was when I realized my hips had gotten wedged between the armrests. Then I just sat there for a few seconds, feeling absolutely mortified; I just could not believe that I was too big to get out of a standard-sized chair. I kept trying to get myself out without anyone noticing. Thankfully, at this point, most people had left the room. But eventually, one of the women from the meeting noticed. She came back over and asked me if I was okay. Then I turned to her and said "My bum's stuck in the chair". Thankfully, she was very kind about the situation. She just grabbed my hands and said she'd help pull me up, and I did finally managed to get up after that. But then I realized the chair was still stuck on my bottom. So I was standing there with this stupid chair hanging off my ass. And at that point, I just burst into laughter. It wasn't even particularly funny to me, but I just didn't know what else to do, and I said something like "Well, this is going great, isn't it?" which did get a small chuckle out of her. Then she told me to try pressing down on the armrests. So I planted both hands firmly on them, twisted my torso slightly, and managed to push the chair off me, and I just stood there for a second. Then I thanked her about a million times. She kept telling me it was fine. And honestly, she was still being incredibly kind about it. There was no laughing at me or making comments about my weight. She just helped me, which I am very grateful for.

But still, when I walked out of that office, I genuinely felt nauseous. Not because I was physically sick, but because I felt humiliated. I got to my car and just sat there for a few minutes. I kept thinking about how different things were six years ago. I was still a fat woman, and I still had plenty of insecurities, but I didn't have this problem. I didn't have to calculate whether I could physically fit between the armrests of a chair, and I didn't have to worry about getting stuck. And I don't want my life to get to the point where I'm constantly worrying about whether ordinary things are physically going to accommodate me. Also, when I got home, I told my husband the entire story, and he hugged me and said he was proud of me for finally admitting to myself that I wasn't happy with where I was and that I wanted to make a change. And that actually did make me feel a lot better. I have tried losing weight multiple times before, and I'm not going to pretend that this one embarrassing incident magically fixed everything. I still have the same habits, and the same problems. But I think today was the wake-up call I needed. And I want to make it clear: I don't hate myself. I just want to be healthier. I want to be able to sit comfortably. I want to be able to get in and out of chairs without worrying. I want to be able to play with my kids without constantly running out of breath.

So I'm going to try again. I'm 348 pounds today, and I don't want to be sitting here six years from now wondering how I got to 400. Also, if anyone here has successfully lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off, I would really appreciate hearing what worked for you. And hopefully, I'll be able to look back on this as a healthier woman, and it won't seem like such a big deal anymore.