u/DueAccident9914

Last year I met a guy. We were talking for a couple of months, went on some of the best dates, always had such a fun time. It felt like we were in our own world, in our own bubble, truly enjoying the present with each other. It felt like a rare connection where the chemistry was off the charts and the energy just instantly clicked.

However, I couldn‘t shake this gut feeling that we weren’t going to work. I’m not really sure how to explain it but deep down something made my nervous system feel uneasy. Instead of addressing this feeling, I let the uneasiness show up in different ways through anxiety and fear. Anxious that my gut was trying to tell me something but also fearful of getting hurt (and if I’m being honest, fearful to actually like someone with the amount I liked him).

Because I didn’t address my insecurities in the moment, I acted out immaturely in some situations. Yes, there were also some situations from his end that rubbed me the wrong way too, but nonetheless, I should have brought them up. This led to us go from mirroring each other’s fun energy, to anxious energy, to then avoidant energy… and when that happens, well, typical avoidant behavior comes in and we started to distance ourselves. Long story short, after some time not speaking and him missing my birthday, I ripped off the bandaid and explicitly ended it. In hindsight, I should have spoken to him first in more detail, but again, couldn‘t shake this gut feeling of us not working so I just let it end.

The thing I can’t comprehend is how much I still think about him. I feel so conflicted because my heart misses him so much so and still has so much love for him, but my gut still says no. I just can’t quite make sense of this feeling and was wondering if anyone has ever been in a situation where your heart and gut are on opposite ends of agreement. Care to share how you navigated it?