Am I stupid or does he not like me back?
Hi, this is my first ever (and probably going to be the only honestly)
Sooo... I possibly maybe have a BIG crush on one of my best friends (I know, I'm sorry) and he's kinda giving me mixed signals and I just don't know if he likes me back or not so ahh. He's moved to Asia now which is really sad but he moved a few years ago so I've adjusted by now but it's only long distance now obviously. (For context, he has autism so I'm not sure if that's a cause for the mixed signals, but he's really perceptive and I have a gut feeling he has an idea I like him or at least suspects it, also he has a dang crush on this girl who also lives in the same country as him 😭😭 which is the main reason I'm thinking that there is NO way he likes me back. Plus we're really close so I'm worried if I say something and I'm so delusionally into him to the point I think he likes me back and it turns out he doesn't... well I don't want to ruin our friendship. Like, don't get me wrong, he would never ever ever be mean about it if he doesn't like me back, he's such a great, kind, polite and sweet guy (sounds biased, I know, but I thought this wayy before I liked him. He gives me hope in humanity honestly.) Oh, and by the way, I sort of feel bad about liking him to an extent because he deserves to be with someone and like someone who will always be by his side (which I am, but I mean physically, which I can't be because I'm in another freaking continent obviously 😭) and someone who he can just meet and see in person in the same country. So, that's another reason why I'm considering just growing out this crush and waiting until it's over and not tell him (maybe?) because I don't want him to feel like you know bad or anything (not in a toxic way) when he knows he likes someone else but one of his best friends like him. So anyways, I've yapped lots, I'll just go into why he might like me?
-I always send him reallyyyyyy long messages and he always spends his time to respond back to all of them, but I've always kind of done this (even before I liked him) because I have a lot to say to him, and he's always messaged back to all of it with effort and care too (unless he's tired or something or not you know himself (but even then, he still optionally responds back just as entusiastically honestly) which is totally fair I understand that of course, I never force him even when he's happy or feeling just neutral he just willingly responds to everything with enthusiasm too btw, like they are not dry responses at all ) Like, I remember him telling me it take shim like an hour to respond, (same for me too) at one point and I said oh you don't have to of course I just like to yap lol and he was like no worries he had nothign better to do anyways so I'm thinking if he has nothing better to do then maybe I'm just overthinking this?
-He neveerrrrrr ghosts me and this one time (before I liked him) was the only time he DID ghost me but he told me literally before that he couldn't respond and stuff explaining to me just so I knew that he "wasn't ghosting me" which was so cute omg that's so sweet I love him. (he wet to like a camp or something btw) But, like I said before, he did this before I liked him (and I assume he didn't like me back too) sooo maybe he's just yk nice and doesn't ghost people? But then again my friend, who he's also friends with ( actually its his friend that he introduced me too and she's s really nice and we clicked straight away I've literally known her for 2 weeks and it feels like we've knwon each other for yeas, we talk like it. And she also knew him a lot too and has known him for like a year longer than me (5 years for her, 4 years for me but like its close its not like a full year so I'm pretty sure it feels the same time for him so that doesn't effect anything and he doesn't her romantically at all its all platonic and stuff) She knows I have a crush on him btw and ships us XD and she's really supportive of it but she hasn't told anyone else because I said not to. Anyways my crush apparently ghosts her for like hours at a time when he can't be bothered or something lol XD (which I know sounds like a red flag but its not I swear, he just genuinely can't be bothered or is too tried but he still messages me soo? Also it's not targeted at my friend cause he's also friends with her and they along well obviously cause its HIS friends and I assume he does it to his other friends too, he just kinda does it to most people which is fair cause sometimes I don't feel like speaking to people either.) And also if you rmember from the first one, it's long messages too! So?
-Kinda linking to the last one but like he responds pretty wuickly, like someitmes 5 minutes or something or sometimes like 20 minutes but there are also times when its liek 50 minutes but in all fairness he literally lives in another continent, as said before. The onyl time he takes hours thuogh is when yk, he's sleeping, cause our time difference is like 6 hours. He's even spoken to me so much it got to like midnight and we were chatting on like a group chat with me him and his friends (it's not awkward they were so friendly and I never intruded he invited me and they were all pretty excited to meet me lol) and his friend cazme on and just said "you guys have been at this for over an hour..." and we didn't even realise it either and my cursh just said he was putting off sleeping an dhis friend responded with "ah" and yeah and my crush has also spent his time speaking all the way up until he sleeps too like he'll be like oh i really have to go to bed now and then we end off but yeah
-His compliments. Like once I showed him my dress and he said I looked really good in it. Keep in mind I asked him if he liked my DRESS not how I look in it but I suppose he might have not taken that in consideration or anything and never thought of it in that way which I assume is probably right. Also he didn't stop there, he kept saying I was really pretty. Also I remember I was talking about a photo of me that looks really photo shopped and he said ":O are you just so pretty that you look photo shopped?" like what who says thattt but also maybe he didn't realise that was kind of, idk, flirty? He's said I'm really smart, said my name is really "awesome" (I have a pretty unique name) , said he tgenuinely thinks I'd be a great mother, and said my art is really good (I don't like my art but I don't say that much because it feels like I'm begging for compliments and attention but he says its good anyways and knows I don't like my art because he's literally my best friend he tells me most things if not all and vice versa.)
-He teases me a lot but maybe its because he literally is one of my best friends once again so?
-once he said he doesn't like giving girls hugs in response to when I said the same about boys and he put in brackets (depends ont he girl obviously) and a week later I was realyl sad abuto soemthign and venting to him and he said he really wish he could give me a hug rightn ow but then again he is my friend soooo??!
-in our group chat with ihis friends he's always messaging messages related to me like he'll be like oh blah blah reponding to somethign that has NOTHING to do with me that someone ELSE said and then add a little teasing comment directed to me (he says my name obv so I knwotis directed to me) even though like I wasn't even mentioned in the convo lol XD
- He's always so open abotu how much he wants me to visit him and for us to meet up like he has a joke that he's going to kidnap me so he can spend time wiht me XD except he doesn't like the place I live so he doesn't want to visit the country but he does want to tvisit me so he literally ddriectly said he'd only come to visit me because he want to visit me and the only thing he wants to see in my ctounry is me but then he is my best friend sooooooooooooo aughruvh ptuiravgt iu but like I rmemeber tlelign him I tried convinging my parents to go to [where he lives] briefly and he got so excited and was like yesssss yesss convince them and was so ahppy and then I told him either wya i'd be wiht my parents and family the entire time so he'd never get to see me and he jsutt siad tell him we're going and he'd just pop up unintenionally there by "accident" lmao ;ol and I told him we wouldn't ge tto talk butthat didn't stop him lol also he was ltierally asking me so many questions abuot how I'd get to meet him if he came to [where I live] in detail since I have strict parents as if he was actually coming sooo idk (btwmy parents are not visitn ghis cotunry they werne't convinced lol)
- he's told his friends about me... apparently "quite a bit" in his OWN words but he also talks about HIS friends to me too soo? but not in thattt much detail but it depends what he means by "wuite a bit" also he said he's talked about me to his sister too and that she "knows who I am pretty well" but he's literally best friends with his sister and he also says he talks alot about his friends to his family too so ahhaouehr voiytg but I rmember speaking to one of his friends and one his riedns joked like "ah [his name] told me about your long messages" after I waffled lmaoo but I only really send longgggg messages to him because what I sent to his friend wasn't even HALF of what i send to him
-he's sometimes really overly nice to me over his other friends he's just as clsoe to. (its's not becuas eim a girl cause he's more nice to me than some of his femal friends too so? That's not to say he's not nice to them either, he's always really sweet and cute to eveyrone but he's usjut kinda... OVERLY nice to me seomtimesn)
-BUT GUYS HE ALSO HAS A CRUSH 4UIPTH IUH CUI4HTC IU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOV A4TH UPIA4TH IUU4TH UI4H T4UIH LIKE WAHT? Maybe I'd be uder the impression he likes me back (because all my friends say that he totally does ) if he DIDN't have a crush, but he DOES so I'm so confused. Am I being delusional? Is he just nice? Is he probably just sending mixed singals unintentionally?
Also sorry for yappign lmao XD 😭😭😭