u/Due_Aardvark2932

all i hear is that y2 was hell, y2 will be hell, y2 will hang me to dry, y2 will mutilate me. i think thats playing on my psyche more than anything i can see actually in year 2 content wise. how do you deal with all the noise surrounding y2 and academic life in general? like try to take on a more positive outlook? i think, in my mind, if i fail i fail. at least i would've tried to succeed. but there's no point bowing out mentally before even reaching the starting line

so I applied to a medical receptionist post a while back, got the rejection within a week, calm. I knew I had the experience and stuff but it was just hard to get it all down at the time. so I decided for the next few applications I’d both improve my CV and disclose my adhd to hopefully get a chance under the scheme. sent off four applications, each reviewed by a third party as fitting the job description and person specification. if I was rejected I’d be fine with it, just means I need to improve my application. I waited like 2 weeks, no reply, nothing. I think disclosing the fact I have adhd has worked against me and im not being considered or rejected or processed at all as a result. If it was one job I’d say it’s chance, but 4 different jobs? its just a bit annoying.

tldr: i'm probably going to have to resit my exam. and i keep giving myself second chances for a tomorrow that never comes.

i feel like i haven't learnt my lesson lol. i got into medical school after not doing that well as a premed (non-us med school). in my final year of high school i fell in love with bio and i was doing well but ultimately crashed and burned my average at the end. fair enough. i did all the soul searching, i got a shit job and realised how much i still liked learning. i got accepted into medical school against the odds, i had a good semester 1 and got a good grade. i felt this failure was in my rear view mirror.

semester 2 comes around. i was kind of depressed in semester 1 despite it being 'good': i felt i had no friends, and i think ppl would subtly chide me for spending a lot of my time in the library. it wasn't obvious, more like subtle digs; 'you basically live in the library' 'when will you come out with us?' i was disappointed at my lack of proper friendships and the fact that these were also medical students let me put my guard down. so i went out more and did less work on the weekends. i felt less pressured to study, i started doing less work less consistently. i started failing. but i convinced myself i was a 'hard worker'.

april comes around. oh crap! exam soon! gotta study! but i never felt 'ready' to work. i also felt pretty inadequate like my whole year. and as we we're getting closer and closer to exams it got harder and harder to just block out some of that noise. i feel really disappointed. i was turning things around. and then just stopped.

its not the fact i have adhd. i don't feel like i'm incapable because i have adhd and i don't like suggesting its a crutch. if i got into medical school, it means i can be a doctor.

but i feel if i keep making these kinds of mistakes and errors, do i deserve another chance?

is it just my laptop or is this happening for anyone else? i scroll on any article on the website and it just takes me to some scam page? i've submitted a ticket but idk if this is just me or whether its the teach me website

exams in 3 weeks but i cant revise well. i've tried all the usual techniques but think i just finally need more help. i'm really anxious all the time and it's really annoying to deal with. i just want to know if anyone's asked their gp for anxiety help before exams and how it went.