u/Due_Ad7308

I just lost $20k. I was back up to only $5k debt when I turned $5k into $15k playing blackjack only to continue and lose it all.

I am dependent on my family for income since I had a manic episode, was labelled bipolar and lost my job. I’m 32M living back at home, now in $20k debt with no income and want to end it all.

I woke up this morning wishing I never woke up to begin with.

How do I get better ??? How can I hide this from my family without the overbearing guilt of them working for me to lose all the money available in my name.

I’m highly educated but now feel highly regarded and want to unalive myself. If I was in the USA and had a gun I probably would have ended it already.