Talking to someone with adhd
I have been talking to someone for about a year now who told me they have adhd. I'm at my wits' end about what exactly to do. We had been talking for months, both in person and over text, with many of these in-person chats happening after we'd both left the gym and lasting an hour, maybe sometimes even two. About 2 months into knowing each other, I asked them to hang out, and we managed to meet up, and the hangout went well; it lasted approximately 3 hours, and overall I enjoyed the experience; we were talking and joking the entire time.
After this, for the following 6 months, no matter how I asked, they were either busy or didn't give a response; it didn't matter if I made it walking distance, time-bound, etc. In spite of this, we kept talking after the gym; we kept having these long conversations, sometimes ending at 11 pm, sometimes 12 pm. feeling a shift in how they looked at me, the way they held eye contact, the topics we spoke about, etc. I shared my feelings for them; they said they'd like to be friends for now.
They seemed quite flustered; topic switching not too long after the exchange, I leaned into the topic they brought up, and it led to a 2 hr conversation. Following that, they more or less avoided me for 7 weeks; they'd see me, but they didn't exactly engage in interactions or text me.
By chance, one week we bumped into each other, and we started talking about once a week again, having expansive conversations. This lasted approximately another 3 weeks before it seemed like life stress got to them, and they barely interacted with me for a month before again having an almost 2-hour conversation.
After that, I was busy, so I didn't see them around, but in that time they sent multiple paragraphs of texts after we got engaged on a topic, but when I saw them in person, mild avoidance again. Frankly, I was content being friends because I enjoyed their company, but this feels quite thin, and I don't know if I should just ghost them or say my final piece about all this. They've shared so much with me- being anxious about things, wanting to be perfect, self-sabotaging behavior, etc and I believe they feel guilty about it; hence, I was content just being a sentinel friend, but it barely feels like they want to even interact with me at times.