r/AdhdRelationships

My Fiancé and I got engaged in Italy last July and he was extremely serious about us. We had a great relationship a few minor ups and downs and occasional minor disagreements, but a very happy healthy relationship. In April he started 10mg of Elvanse with a 10mg increase every few weeks. When first starting he was quite moody in the evenings and said he'd got doubts about the Wedding but could not name them, and acted quite cold with me, this only lasted a few days and he was absolutely fine again and then it briefly happened again on the 20mg. Once he was on 30mg and then 40mg he was happy, content, romantic, buying me flowers and gifts, booked us a holiday, said he couldn't imagine being with anyone other than me, and said we'd have a very happy marriage, and was planning to sell one of his cars soon to pay for Wedding costs.

He then got put on 50mg of elvanse and within 3 weeks he was having irrational angry outbursts over very minor things, was being extremely late like 2 hours late for things, and also blew money like £750 on the most random thing off a stranger on Facebook market place with no warranty whilst we were staying at his Mums 200 miles away from home, and he was 2 hours late by doing this for an outing his Mum had planned, and we were too late to go. She was very upset and he didn't think he had done anything wrong and got very aggressive with her for crying. This was extremely out of character behaviour. I got upset as we were supposed to be saving for a Wedding and he let his mum down and was horrible to her.

2 days later after whatsapping him a wedding venue to look at he sent a horrible text saying "I dont think we should go through with the Wedding, it pains me to let you down, but I just feel we dont match anymore and committing to each other would be a mistake " He later gave ever changing weird vague contradictory reasons for ending our relationship, that didnt add up despite claiming ending it was a really tough desicion he'd given a lot of thought. Then he blew hot and cold with me, nice one time, cold and horrible another like our relationship meant nothing and I made his life stressful. He also sent an angry rant to my mum. 10 days after breaking up, she sent him a nice message saying she hoped he was okay, and his lauched a crazy rant by text. Id confided in him in the past that my Mum was sometimes difficult due to her mental illness and he was really horrible about it and the message was full of capital letters, saying he was so angry his resting heart rate was 120-140. His work colleagues say he iscacting very manic and strange too. It was so weird. He then got my things out of his house and closed our joint account but was very upset at the bank and begged me to keep in touch.

A week after the bank visit, and 5 weeks after breaking up he lowered his dose to 40mg bought me a gift, and wants to meet for coffee in 2 weeks, but mentioned giving me back the towel I got on our engagement holiday thats still at his. His behaviour and treatment towards me has been bizarre as he was so erratic broke up out of nowhere with no real reason for ending such a serious commitment. The elvanse is all that makes sense to me. Is this possible and is reconciliation possible once he stablises on the correct dose?

About 8 months ago, I met this guy online. He was cute, funny, and we really clicked. At some point he told me he had ADHD. Honestly, I didn’t know much about ADHD at the time.
A few months after we started talking, we made things official. A few months after that, he moved in with me. He had some things going on at home, and since he was my boyfriend, I felt like offering him a place to stay was the right thing to do.
The thing is, he moved over 14 hours away from home to be with me.
When we were long-distance, things were manageable. But now that we live together, his ADHD seems to be affecting our relationship a lot more. It feels like the smallest things can turn into arguments. I’m also someone who doesn’t like backing down when I genuinely believe I’m right, so that obviously makes things worse.
I’m not trying to insult my partner, but sometimes I feel like we just process things very differently. I’m 25 and he’s 24, and he is medicated for his ADHD. There are things he does that he attributes to ADHD, and sometimes I genuinely don’t understand how ADHD explains certain behaviors. I find myself wondering, “Is this actually ADHD, or is this just him?”
And that’s where I’m struggling.
Sometimes he’ll do something hurtful, frustrating, or irresponsible and blame it on his ADHD. I understand that ADHD can affect things like impulsivity, emotional regulation, forgetfulness, communication, etc., but at what point does an explanation become an excuse?
There are also moments where I genuinely wonder if some of his behavior is narcissistic or manipulative, and then I question myself because I don’t know enough about ADHD to know where the line is.
I love him. He’s genuinely a great person in many ways, and I don’t want to reduce him to his ADHD. But I’m extremely stressed in this relationship right now, and I can feel myself starting to lose who I am.
So I guess my question is for people who have ADHD themselves or have been in long-term relationships with someone who has ADHD:
What is it actually like? Can a healthy relationship work when one person has ADHD? How do you distinguish between ADHD-related behavior and someone simply refusing to take responsibility for their actions?
I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me “leave him” or “stay with him.” I’d really like to hear from people who have actually lived this and can give me some perspective, because right now I’m genuinely struggling.

I take Vyvanse, and it definitely helps, but I’m interested in hearing from other people with ADHD about what else has made a noticeable difference for them.

I’m especially interested in things that help with focus, energy, not feeling constantly tired, better sleep, motivation, procrastination, executive dysfunction, staying organized, and avoiding distractions. (THE CLASSICS 😂)

I’d like to hear about supplements, vitamins, exercise, diet, sleep routines, productivity systems, apps, habits, or anything else that has helped you.

I’m not looking to replace medication. I’m interested in things that can work alongside Vyvanse and help me function better overall.

For supplements, I’d especially like to know what you take, what you feel it helps with, and whether you actually noticed a difference.

I know everyone is different, so I’m mainly interested in your personal experiences.

What has been your biggest non-medication ADHD game changer?

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice please. My ex partner (female 45) and myself (male 43) broke up 2 months ago. She has undiagnosed ADHD and the relationship ended due to another meaningless argument. We were together about 4 years.

The relationship had its great points but some absolutely rock bottom points, she would cause some pointless arguments just for that dopamine hit and say some really cruel things to me, constantly tell me to leave or pack my things like I was nothing. Even message other guys.

She is constantly starting and quitting hobbies and has had a lot of jobs too, she never seems to be happy about anything in life. She struggled financially before we were together but when I moved in I pretty much paid for everything.

We have kept in contact but nothing much, the odd message regarding collecting things or bills/money. She wanted to come and see the dogs which I reluctantly agreed to, but the other day she changed her mind again and telling me to never message her again. Which is fair enough after a break up. What I’m concerned about is her saying she feels like driving off a cliff or driving in to a tree and she doesn’t want to be here anymore. I don’t know what to do? I paid for her therapy and also managed to get her to the doctor to speak to them and see about meds but she flat out refuses. I’m worried she might do something stupid but I don’t want to reach out and check on her as she’s told me not to message. The last time I got worried I called her family which made it even worse.

Some advice needed please, I’m worried something bad is going to happen

So I have been with this person for a good while now. We have a lot in common and they're the best partner I've ever had (I've been in a lot of relationships). I'm anxious and depressed at the idea of us breaking up because of how amazing and loving they are. They have so many good traits and are an incredibly good person. We are both in our early 30s.

We're both on the spectrum but they also have adhd, which I don't. My autism and the way I was raised/household I lived in have made me into a very clean and tidy person. I am no ocd like neat freak, but my space always being tidy and organized is a priority for me. It brings me peace and happiness and I get very stressed when my place isn't tidy. Messy for me is not having dusted places that are hard to reach for a while and having clothes in a bag or hamper that are clean but have yet to be put away. I'm the kind of HAVE to make the bed every day type of person.

Their audhd makes it incredibly hard for them to maintain a clean environment. It was pretty decent when we first started dating but then got progressively worse as the months went by. I constantly feel anxious and sad being at their place when it looks like that and have a hard time being there. Because of our work schedules, I have to go to their place 90% of the time or we'd barely ever see each other. They're a full time, hard worker so I know that also makes it difficult to keep a clean house.

They are bothered and deeply ashamed by the mess. They also want a clean and tidy environment. I have tried to help several times by cleaning things myself, but their place has gotten so bad that it grosses me out to do it now since I don't wanna be around/touch said mess. I offered to pay for a cleaner but they don't want a stranger in their house and are also too embarrassed by the way it looks to have someone else see it.

They sometimes get defensive and silent when I mention the mess. Mention as in me trying to seem ok but they notice that I'm off, so they ask what's wrong and I tell them the truth. I have stopped bringing it up myself and have always tried to do so in a careful and compassionate way as to not upset them in the past. A few times they have cleaned up stuff that bothered me right away though. They said that they told me multiple times that they need help with cleaning and I always say ok, so let's do it right now together (or on the day it's brought up) but they're always too tired from work. When we do clean together it's great, but it's never enough because of how much cleaning the space needs and because they struggle to clean for too long. I have a hard time cleaning up on my own or after them because of how bad the place has gotten and then I feel guilty about not being able to help clean more in depth. Because I would never let my place get that bad, it's extremely difficult for me to be in that environment, much less touch/clean gross things from it. I was always able to when it wasn't this bad.

I don't know what to do anymore. I love them deeply and don't want to leave them but I struggle to help when it's gotten to this point. I also gaslight myself about the place not being that bad so I can hopefully look past it for the sake of the relationship.

Tldr: long term partner is very messy and I'm not. I don't wanna leave but can't take it anymore and it's becoming too hard for me to keep helping with the cleaning despite wanting to and having done so in the past.

Im looking for some advice or perspective from others who might be dealing with a similar communication dynamic. My partner is n dx but is literaly staring her diagnosis journey tomorrow

Whenever I make a mistake, she doesn’t want to hear any of my explanations for why it happened. To her, any explanation feels like an excuse or a defence mechanism. She just wants a direct apology with zero backstory.

I want to respect her boundaries and avoid triggering cognitive overload or emotional fatigue for her. At the same time, it feels hard for me because I want her to understand my intent wasn't malicious.

• How do you balance taking accountability while still feeling like your perspective is heard?
• If you have ADHD, does hearing the "why" behind a mistake overwhelm you when you're already upset?
• What does a healthy, productive apology look like in your relationship?
• How does a healthy relationship get over emotional dysregulation? In the FAQ, it says, "A combination of proper medication and behavioral therapy is needed for long term progress with emotional dysregulation." As said above, she is starting her diagnosis journey literally now, so hopefully medication and behavioral therapy soon, but are there any specific tips regarding emotional dysregulation?

First time posting. Need advice. Please don’t tell me to baby him or find excuses.

My husband doesn’t believe in ADHD, autism, or anything similar, he uses the r-word for them. But he shows clear ADHD traits: always late, can’t start or finish things, easily irritated when asked (demand avoidance), hates planning, only acts impulsively, can’t stick to a plan, disrupt with sudden change of plans, can’t keep promises, starts random time-consuming tasks right before a deadline or when it’s time to go, and procrastinates past deadlines. He also struggles with open communication, he internalize change of plans and only thinks for himself.

This may be ok for day to day life for other people, but it is a nightmare during a kitchen remodel. We’ve been at it a year, it’s down to studs and subfloor, untouched for 11 months. I’m not allowed to hire anyone or do anything myself. He forbids any input from me. He wants absolute control of the whole thing, and gets irritated if I jump in.

Now he tore up the bedroom floor too, also an impulsive project, took him 30 seconds to plan and decide. Bedroom stuff is piled in the living room, floor unfinished, and I get blamed for not motivating him when I ask.

I’ve grown scared of asking him things to avoid being called a nag and to avoid triggering him. His family would find explanations for his behavior and put the burden on me to accommodate him but never asked anything of him. But what about the partners whose lives get buried under this?

If you have an ADHD partner, how do you actually get projects done with them? Please don’t say gentle baby talk or walk on eggshells, he’s 40.

How did you decide he was your husband and is it a decision you regret..advice needed on how to make it work when you're inattentive and forgetful. It's unintentional but still worries about entering bathing I can't sustain

so you have been on my mind for a long time now, haven't had anyone for so long as you in my mind. initially i had thought of us being partners or so but things changed between us. I thought we had something between us, but I guess most of it was in my mind only. 

Now I think the time has come to let you go and make myself free from your thoughts, those expections of your messages or so... I tbh never really prioritised beauty over brain and I think it was one of the reasons why you never choose me in the first place, because person like you would choose someone who is very smart and talented and highly successful. I think I don't present my self in a way that makes me look flashy or very cool because my personal philosophy is that I don't want to attract the surface-level influenced people who are attracted to the limelight and all. and to some extent I even hate those people who try to snatch the limelight all the time.

I was very friendly and kind to you, which in general i'm not with most of the people. now I think I can close your chapter and move on, because there's nothing left between us, I feel like I have become your convinience person who will be available all the time for you. I genuenly feel happy for being that comfort person for you, but what hurts is that you not being available for me, or reciprocating that same energy. You want me when there is no one to entertain you, or when you don't have your friends but not when I need you. You are like a chalak person who know how to use people and then keep them at their disposal. you dragged me into things which i never wanted to do, now i'm just making things miserable for myself even there as well.

I though we were good friends and you a good friend but I guess that was not the case, you clearly were someone who was very chalak, who exactly knew what to do and when to leave....I was never that kind of person, all in the way I was trying to become that one person for you, with whom you could open up and tell your things...but I failed at that...I failed to understand you. or maybe I wanted to understand you more but you made your boundaries high enough for me so now I'm done with you. 

My biggest fear now is that I might become cold to you, like from couple of months I have been trying not to become so much cold and noticiable with my actions but now since this chapter is going to be closed I believe that I will have just maintain that distance a bit more with you, your thoughts and dreams. deep down I'm not someone who likes to play games or do stuff that makes other person feel like shit or something like that but I just wanted to become your goto home person.

I clearly wanted much more than you were ready to give, you had you boundaries...and maybe I am the stupid one who had forgot his boundaries and limits or maybe I was someone whose attention you enjoyed that made me look like a fool. maybe all this was for my character development to feel like stupid in infatuation about you. Thinking about you still my heart pound faster but now i have to let that go now, because if i don't let you go now then a day will come when all this will be over and I'd be still dreaming about you...even when everything would have changed completely between us. 

whenever I think of you I never really think about anything bad about you, you had that magic on me, I'm stupid sometimes. just know that I loved you, and adored you, but since we don't have a future, I'll have to let you go. 

I might have failed with you, but I will not become bad with others. I have other people as well, and for the fact, I will not treat you badly or anything like that, because that is not my nature, I might not talk on the surface much but i will never want something bad to happen to you, just be happy GOODBYE. today the date is 18Aug,2026 and timing is 1:39AM.

My partner has crippling ADHD. Right now he’s the one paying rent and covering household expenses. He works very hard and juggles multiple clients at once. He also has back taxes he pays every month. My work permit is still in processing, so I do freelance work that covers my own expenses.

I’m explaining all this because since he’s covering the bigger expenses right now, I try to help around the house instead. He helps too sometimes.

Here’s the problem. Because of his ADHD, he’s all over the place and messy, not dirty messy, but things like socks thrown everywhere, the closet always open with clothes falling out, his bathroom drawer constantly a mess. Whenever he cooks, I actually get stressed beforehand because I know the spices, food items, and sauces will all end up misplaced, and the sink will be piled with dishes after.

When I clean, I put in a lot of time and effort, so I want the space to stay that way for at least a day or two so I can actually enjoy it. But the house gets messy again so fast that it kills my motivation. When I’m home alone, or when he’s out for work, I love sittingg in the clean space I created its so important for my mood. I just want him to help maintain that for even a week, but he tells me his ADHD makes executive functioning difficult.

One example: I cleaned his bathroom drawer yesterday, sanitized it, cleaned the products inside, wiped off the toothpaste residue, and organized everything. He appreciated it a lot. But this morning I opened it and he’d already thrown his shaving cream and other stuff back in without any order. I know that in another day or two it’ll be right back to how it was. This kills my motivation to keep cleaning. When I ask him to put things back where they belong, he says he has too much on his plate already and that his brain can’t hold onto that many things at once, and I don’t want to add to his struggle.

So my questions are:
\- Is it so hard for people with ADHD to put things back in place?
\- Am I being inconsiderate as I really believe these are basic life skills everyone should work on regardless of how busy you are?

Would love to know everyone’s opinion here! Also what does DX mean? (New here!)

I think I have relationship OCD. I’ve had an outburst on my boyfriend again. So much stuff has happened in our relationship that I do not know if I’ll ever get over it. It’s caused my whole life to blow up. He agrees that maybe it’s best if we break up, it’s not fair to him or me. He’s able to get over certain things faster than I am. I’m scared I’m making a bad choice and will regret this. I love him so much and I’m scared. My brain is everywhere right now. I really need some advice

My partner is NT. I am ND, as are both of our children. The stress has put an insane amount of pressure on our marriage, exacerbated by very poor sleep for almost 10 years (first with one child, then his issues got resolved and we’re now struggling with the youngest’s sleep issues). We are in couples therapy, do some parent coaching with a community organization, and I have an individual therapist. He refuses to see his own because he says it won’t help.

I take full accountability for my contributions to the stress in our home, and while my late ADHD diagnosis is not an excuse, it does explain things. My partner’s feelings are 100% valid, but what more can I do other than show that I’m working to change things? He will admit that yes, some things have improved, but then the goal posts move and I’m still not doing enough. I feel like a prisoner of the past. I made decisions to move past very hurtful things he did to me in the past (we have a 20+ year history), but feel like he can’t/won’t do the same for me. I refuse to spend the rest of my life trying to prove I’m worthy of forgiveness.

Can a marriage between an NT partner and an ND partner ever survive? What can I or he or we do to move forward with true reconciliation or repair, instead of resentment and contempt?

I dont know what to do. Due to give birth tomorrow

I am 44f about to be induced tomorrow with my third baby but first baby with my adhd partner. He is 45m.

I want advice from both ppl who do and dont have adhd.

He is undiagnosed and unmedicated but we both are 100% certain he has adhd. He currently is on a spiral and has left the house after an argument that I started. The crux of the argument is that he wont allow me to see his snap chat or his location and has made big spends behind my back without telling me. Hes poor with money and dosnt like to chare his finances or his where abouts.

He used to, he used to be such a loving and caring man. We r together 2.5 years but ive known of him from i was 16. He love bombed the life out of me at the start and bent over backwards for me. As our relationship has gone on things have progressively gotten worse. Any fight we have he leaves. If he starts it he ends it by leaving. If I start it he ends it by leaving. He could spend anywhere from 2.days to 2 weeks away from the house and will ignore most txts or calls. He blames me for leaving at all times. He will apologise when he comes back for his part in the argument but will use those words exactly and will never get into the facts or what was said or how we hurt each other. I dont think we have ever had a true heart to heart.

The turning point is when we got engaged. He seemed to get angrier more, ran away more and was more nasty. I then discovered I was pregnant not long after getting engaged and I didn't feel the joy I should have. The pregnancy has been awful. Hes hardly been here literally will leave every other week. Its a terrible habit we are in and I dont know how to break it.

But he will blame me for the way he treats me. Yes ive done things wrong but I've tried to make amends. Ive never done anything wrong that I feel was detrimental to the relationship tho. Silly things tho. When he does anything wrong I forgive him and we move on. When I do something wrong he will punish me and every thing ive done wrong will get brought up in every single argument. He also has issues with my past relationships. Ive had 10 past partners all who I tried to make a go of it. My adhd partner was very loose in his younger days so we are talking 60+ girls he has slept with yet my past is always a problem.

When hes good hes amazing. When hes not its an absolute head f\*\*k.

I carry everything. I own my own business. I own the house that he dosnt contribute towards unless I cry about it. I keep the house running. The cars the kids the bills the mental load of running everything and now im about to have another kid. What have I done to deserve this all. Does he care. Did he lie about wanting a home a family and a life with me? Was that all false. Im in a constant state of confusion....... when im stuck with something (car has broken down) (someone dented my work van) hes right on it. In the next breathe he puts me down about how manly my hands look or how Im a terrible cook etc. He snaps at me and tells me im not doing enough to keep him happy and I should make more of an effort. This was at 8 months pregnant. Please help. What is this. This jekyll and Hyde routine has wore me down to nothing. Im due to be induced tomorrow morning at 10 and he dosnt know that because hes been gone the past four days again. Am I a fool for trying to make this work. Will this ever change? I cant seem to get through to him about how his negative ways are affecting me and how much they are making me unhappy.

I 31F met a 30M who lives with ADHD. Recently diagnosed for a year. We started off casual. And now we’re in a situationship. His life is quite chaotic… important documents laying around, messy room, struggles at work, fractured relationship with his family as he doesn’t consistently attend important events/communicate well.

I a BPD girlie who finds myself morphing into whoever is my FP at the time. I suffer from long term depression. And have periods where I completely shut down. I come from a traditional background. But I’ve always thought there’s something fundamentally wrong with me because the people around me don’t handle difficulties like me. I always felt like I’m weak. I’ve always thought I wanted to be a mother and wife. And felt I need to work extra hard to achieve that level of stability because I’m not “normal”.

But we surprisingly connected. It’s actually quite intense.. Now we meet for more than just the physical and are planning a date soon. He makes me feel normal.. he makes me comfortable being vulnerable. He makes me feel okay that I’m not perfect/pristine all the time. He seems to feel the same. He says he can be himself and doesn’t feel judged. And it makes me want more from the relationship. Not now but hopefully soon.

But is it wrong for me to decide for both of us that we can’t be parents….? If it’ll ever come to that. I feel we wouldn’t be able to provide that boring stable life that children need. But we can be happy just the two of us. Living a non conventional life? Maybe buy a boat, backpack around the world lol I don’t know. The point is we can barely take care of ourselves individually and have been suffering like this for a long time separately but maybe we can enjoy the chaos together and keep figuring life out individually together?

I ask because I don’t know yet. I only recently let go of the white picket fence dream. My whole community thrives on that so I’ll essentially lose everything I’ve once known. But this sounds more true to me despite how scary it feels. Because the traditional route requires me to mask and it’s exhausting/draining. Not sure I can do it my whole life with kids involved. I don’t want to be the reason my kids need life long therapy, if I can choose.

Have any of you struggled with this?

I'm f with AuDHD, and my boyfriend is autistic with a high IQ. Honestly, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, but we still run into communication issues sometimes because I get super impulsive while he's both extremely logical and really sensitive.
I love him so much, and he truly is the best partner I've ever had he takes such good care of me and puts so much effort into us. I just really want to know what I can do to be a better partner for him and make our relationship even stronger.

Any advice? (Feel free to ask any questions)

My new partner has sleep issues. He tells me he has tried sleep therapy and medication.
He has worked out a strict routine that helps him. But we barely sleep in the same bed together and he never sleeps at mine. I have adhd and am a very restless sleeper. Every time I move he gets really frustrated. He sighs loudly if I move and grumbles under his breath. Sometimes he gets really angry. Once he has gotten up and slammed the door on the way out to the bathroom. He also tells me very angrily and bluntly when I move. Stuff like “can you not do that.. stop moving your foot.” And it feels really harsh and angry. If I go to touch him he says “no” super bluntly. It really hurts. I want to be supportive but it’s making me really anxious. Whenever we sleep together I feel nervous and so on edge about not moving. Which makes me want to move more. I usually end up sleeping on his couch. Does anyone have any experience with? His tone and anger scares me. It’s like he turns into a different person at night.

My wife recently got diagnosed with ADHD (mixed subtype but more on the inattentive side). As an outsider, she looks like the opposite of a typical person with ADHD: very structured, lots of lists and Excel sheets, great at organizing and time management.

However, she's also had multiple burnout or burnout-like periods throughout her life, and so her understanding is that she developed a ton of coping strategies early on but they come at a cost (exhaustion, anxiety, and over time burnout).

She also is very selective in her social interactions - who she gives time and energy to - because almost always they end up draining her battery. She is more introverted than I am, but possibly ADHD also plays a role here.

As her spouse I'm trying to learn more about ADHD, and how it can/has been showing up in our marriage, her job, and parenting (we have 2 under 5), energy for talks, dates, intimacy and so on.

Because a lot of books and podcasts focus on hyperactivity or what's going on inside the ADHD brain and not so much on practical ways of working with it/creating space for it, I feel frustrated and impatient because I'd like to show up in better ways for her. (Incidentally, she is half-jokingly convinced I also have ADHD).

If anyone recognizes these specifics and/or has tips for good resources to learn more, I'd be very grateful!

Hi all,

My fiancé is Dx and has been medicated since he was maybe 8 years old. He recently switched to Adderall and I think it’s made a slight difference but I’m not sure. He started seeing a therapist but only went to 2 sessions and stopped.

I’ve been with him about 6 years now, and he’s crashed about 5 cars due to distracted driving and lost so many jobs I have lost count. He’s high-risk insurance and if he gets pulled over or gets into another accident he will lose his license. I know this because he had to go to court and plead to keep his license.

We’ve been held back so much financially. I don’t make enough money to hold us afloat when he loses jobs. Our savings is dwindled. Thankfully there’s been quick turnaround but I know eventually he will get fired. It’s not a matter of if, but when. He has an associates and is passionate about drafting. However, the same mistakes keep haunting him at every job. Attention to detail, communication, executive function, time management, etc. He got fired again today and he only lasted 3 months. The most he’s lasted at a job is 2 years. That job, it was a company layoff so not his fault. But since then, he cannot hold down anything.

I’ve told him in the past that drafting and your skillset don’t align. He needs something different. And only after losing his damn job AGAIN, he finally realized I was right and is looking into another career. In the past, he claimed I was being unsupportive and hateful for even suggesting to switch careers. But now that he’s finally learned his lesson the hard way, now he’s finally doing it.

I just don’t know what to do. Do I start looking for higher paying jobs? I have 1 year experience in my career, 2 degrees (soon to be 3 with bachelors) but I don’t know if I could even find one with the demanding requirements. Any and all suggestions will help. I don’t know how to be supportive. I don’t want to leave, and would not consider it. I love him so much but I’m at a loss for words. I have student debt, want to save for a house, 401k, etc. but I just don’t know if we can do it. My student loans start next year and everything just seems impossible.