u/MethylphenidateMama

My partner does not have ADHD. I do, as do both of our children. The stress has put an insane amount of pressure on our marriage, exacerbated by very poor sleep for almost 10 years (first with one child, then his issues got resolved and we’re now struggling with the youngest’s sleep issues). We are in couples therapy, do some parent coaching with a community organization, and I have an individual therapist. He refuses to see his own because he says it won’t help.

I take full accountability for my contributions to the stress in our home, and while my late ADHD diagnosis is not an excuse, it does explain things. My partner’s feelings are 100% valid, but what more can I do other than show that I’m working to change things? He will admit that yes, some things have improved, but then the goal posts move and I’m still not doing enough. I feel like a prisoner of the past. I made decisions to move past very hurtful things he did to me in the past (we have a 20+ year history), but feel like he can’t/won’t do the same for me. I refuse to spend the rest of my life trying to prove I’m worthy of forgiveness.

Can a marriage between someone with ADHD and someone without ever survive and end up thriving? What can I or he or we do to move forward with true reconciliation or repair, instead of resentment and contempt?

My partner is NT. I am ND, as are both of our children. The stress has put an insane amount of pressure on our marriage, exacerbated by very poor sleep for almost 10 years (first with one child, then his issues got resolved and we’re now struggling with the youngest’s sleep issues). We are in couples therapy, do some parent coaching with a community organization, and I have an individual therapist. He refuses to see his own because he says it won’t help.

I take full accountability for my contributions to the stress in our home, and while my late ADHD diagnosis is not an excuse, it does explain things. My partner’s feelings are 100% valid, but what more can I do other than show that I’m working to change things? He will admit that yes, some things have improved, but then the goal posts move and I’m still not doing enough. I feel like a prisoner of the past. I made decisions to move past very hurtful things he did to me in the past (we have a 20+ year history), but feel like he can’t/won’t do the same for me. I refuse to spend the rest of my life trying to prove I’m worthy of forgiveness.

Can a marriage between an NT partner and an ND partner ever survive? What can I or he or we do to move forward with true reconciliation or repair, instead of resentment and contempt?

Good morning! Can anyone recommend a good repair shop for a Ford Mach-E? Either a Ford dealer certified for repairs or an EV specialist. This is for work after an accident. Thank you!

My husband and I have been in couples therapy on and off for a couple of years, to help us navigate a number of issues. I also have an individual therapist, but he refuses to go because “it won’t help.” We keep falling back into the same cycle of blame and poor communication. I’m by no means perfect, but I’m trying. However, I feel like he’s just over it and acting the way he is so that I end it and he doesn’t need to be the bad guy. He told me last year that he wasn’t in love with me but still had love for me, and was committed to trying to improve the relationship. Not many actions to back up the words, unfortunately. He tolerates me enough to want to be intimate, but I don’t feel like he even likes me anymore Nevermind is falling in love.

Most recently, after the latest disagreement, We’ve hardly spoken for the last week, except small things to do with the kids and then an argument started in front of one of them (which I shut down). I cry every night in the shower and cry myself to sleep almost every night. He never reaches out to me. Whenever we fight, he stonewalls me until I give in and start the convo (could be days or more than a week). He blames me for everything and can never acknowledge his own contributions to issues. I’ve been sick a lot lately (not sleeping, stressed out) and he, not once, has asked if I need anything or if I’m ok. In turn, neither have the kids. I am sick to my stomach at the example my kids are getting from him about how to treat a partner, and from me on how to be treated. I don’t have a lot of support and don’t know what to do - I don’t think I can afford to leave. How much longer do I keep repeating this cycle? Any advice welcome.

Tl;dr Husband seems over the relationship but I can’t afford to leave (I work full time and make my own money but we are in a very expensive city). Don’t know what to do.