Do men take longer to open up?
28F, I’ve recently started this process. After initial conversations with 1-2 people I’ve finally been talking to this one guy for 2 months now, and we’ve met once. He seems sweet and nice, our families also seem to get along. But something I’m struggling with is that I feel like I’m the only one who’s keeping the conversation going.
There’s definitely initiative from his side where he seems to message often, check in on me and is very respectful and polite and our core morals seem to align. And I’m also at that age where I know that “exciting and fun” isn’t always what’s good for me, and the reason we’ve even made it this far. But despite everything on paper being “right” with this guy I’m not able to bring myself to genuinely get excited to talk to him and I feel so bad because he’s expressed it to me just yesterday that he likes me and is looking forward to meeting me again and has started to try to flirt even.
And I genuinely want to give him time to open up and talk more, and I’ve even hinted in a couple times that I would like it if he drove the conversation sometimes. Once it was via humor where I playfully said “today you be the one to talk I’m always yapping” where there was awkward silence, and once I said it directly and he said “I guess I’m not as interesting as you”
But it’s not even about being “interesting” , I get that some people have starting trouble and don’t really know how to keep a conversation going but even after I’ve gotten into the flow there just seems to be not much from him. 😭
But it almost feels like he likes me because I can entertain him and keep things lively??? And honestly I am very fun but and don’t need a partner who’s necessarily the life of party types but rather someone who can be there for me emotionally. But thoda toh i need to feel excited to talk to him right?
Seeking genuine advice here - am I focusing on the wrong things? Should I just move on? Or is there a way where I can change my perspective here? Also people who are in happy relationships post AM - what made you say yes?
UPDATE: He said my personality is too outgoing and outspoken for him and he feels like he can’t mingle with my friends/family. And when I asked why he said he liked me then, he said he did have a crush on me but practically he can’t change his whole personality to fit into my life. 10/10 for honesty I guess? 🤡