u/Due_Historian_8912

I genuinely hate my personality and I don't know how to stop obsessing over it.

I constantly feel like I have to be “interesting”, funny, chill, smart, entertaining, socially good enough, etc. I feel like I’m not allowed to be boring or quiet or awkward for even a second. It’s exhausting.

My brain turns every interaction into some kind of self-evaluation:

“Was I funny enough?”

“Did I sound weird?”

“Do people secretly find me boring?”

“Why can’t I just naturally be confident/extroverted?”

And the worst part is I never feel enough no matter what I do. There’s always some “better version” of myself in my head that I’m chasing constantly.

I think I crave validation way too much and I hate that about myself too. I overanalyze my personality 24/7 and it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even feel natural anymore around people because I’m always monitoring myself.

The weird thing is I can logically understand that nobody is perfect and personalities aren’t supposed to be optimized like a video game build, but emotionally I still feel deeply dissatisfied with who I am.

It feels like there’s this constant restlessness inside me and I don’t know how to shut it off.

Does anyone else feel like this? If so then please help me how to get out of it. I genuinely have 0 self esteem

I know this genuinely isn’t some huge achievement or anything, but I feel really good today.

Went to the gym alone for the first time despite being a very anxious person around people and an extreme overthinker. Usually I avoid these situations unless I have someone with me, so going alone itself felt difficult mentally.

But honestly, the people there were pretty chill and the session went well too. Nothing crazy happened, nobody judged me, and I actually ended up enjoying it.

I know “going to the gym alone” sounds like a very small thing, but for someone who constantly avoids stuff because of anxiety and overthinking, facing it head on felt nice for once.