Sister accused me (m) that I had lust on her
This happened a few years ago. I've tried many things to get out of this. Maybe one or two people in my close circle care about me, but most people simply ignored what I went through.
I want to know how this situation looks from a stranger's perspective and what I should do to move on.
In 2016, I was 15 and my sister was 14.
Jio had just launched, smartphones were becoming common, and my dad bought a smartphone with a Jio SIM. My sister was using it at the time, and I tried to take the phone from her. I took it and went to another room. Suddenly, my mom came to me and asked, "She says you deliberately touched her."
I was completely shocked. I broke down, with tears in my eyes.
What had happened was that while taking the phone, my finger had accidentally touched my sister's chest. She went and told my mother. My father didn't say a single word. He just stood there watching.
Fast forward to 2018.
She wasn't doing well in her studies, so I told her it was okay and that we could even start a stationery business in the future if academics didn't work out.
One night, while praying, she said to me, "Please don't take me somewhere and sell me to prostitutes."
I was only in my first year of intermediate college and had very little exposure to the world. I stayed calm. Once again, neither of my parents said a word.
Fast forward to May 2023.
I was 21 and she was 20.
During an argument over something unrelated, she suddenly said, "Whenever I travel with you on a bike, I feel very uncomfortable. You deliberately apply the brakes so that my chest touches you."
I didn't know how to react.
I looked at my parents, but they didn't seem bothered. I immediately shouted at them, asking, "What is this?"
Their response was, "She's just a young girl. She didn't know what she was saying. Let it go. Why are you still holding on to it?"
That very night, I smoked my first cigarette. Later, I became addicted to alcohol as well.
Even today, my parents say, "She doesn't know any better. That's why she said it."
My mother says, "Why do you keep bringing this up?"
One day, I asked my sister why she felt that way. She replied, "Maybe someone molested me when I was a child. Maybe that's why I feel this way."
She later moved to my dad's place for her postgraduate studies. From a family friend's Instagram stories, I can see she's completely comfortable around men now. There doesn't seem to be any sign of the trauma she mentioned.
Meanwhile, my life has gone in the opposite direction.
I can't even shake hands with a woman without immediately worrying that she might think the same things about me. I've become extremely introverted. I smoke almost every hour. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks whenever I see a brother and sister together in public.
She seems happy and has moved on with her life.
But I was left carrying accusations that my own sister made against me—that I had inappropriate intentions toward her—and my own parents never stood by me or defended me.
Now I can't even comfortably be around women. I don't know if I'll ever find a partner who truly understands me or whether I'll ever have a happy married life.
I don't know who else to talk to about this, so I'm posting it here.
Please let me know your honest opinions. Maybe they'll help me heal.
Posting it here because I really wanna know, other women's thoughts on this.