Just took the pills and I’m feeling so guilty
Hi all. I’m 31 and I found out I was pregnant early last week. I had mixed emotions about it and really needed to take a moment to think. I’m about 5 weeks. I will say this would be my first medication abortion but my second abortion as a whole. I was r*ped in 2017.
My fiance (36M) doesn’t have any kids but i have a beautiful 10y/o daughter that he loves dearly. We are getting married next month and have been so over the moon happy. But our lives are tricky. I’ve been at the same job for 5yrs but we recently had a buyout so my tenure is essentially erased. I dont qualify for any leave/FMLA. I lost my health insurance as well and we were waiting till we got married to put me on his. His job is pretty unpredictable and money wasnt consistent (that should be changing soon). When i told him i was pregnant, he fully supported me choosing whatever i felt was best. After a lot of thinking, theres just no way we coild do this without causing more financial turmoil. We were in the middle of paying off debt, saving to buy a home, and THEN that’s where the kids plan came in. But nope, I was on the pill and I know I have missed a couple pills here and there (this is 100% my fault and I should’ve been more careful). We had it all mapped out in our heads of how we wanted it to go, but life doesn’t work that way. Anyways, I just took the pills and I’m feeling immense guilt. Crying hysterically over what “could’ve been.” I know this isn’t it for us. But God it feels so heavy. Even with him being home and taking care of me..
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I guess I’m just looking to hear how others felt in this process. Everything feels so heavy right now. 😢