Am I crazy or Is it normal to question your entire relationship every PMS?
24F. Every PMS I become convinced I hate men. Is this hormones, burnout, or am I just incompatible with relationships?
I've been with my long-term partner (24M), and lately every time PMS hits, I have this overwhelming realization that I genuinely cannot stand him. It sounds dramatic, but it feels so real in the moment.
It also makes me wonder if I don't actually hate him—I hate how much emotional labor women seem to do in relationships.
Sometimes it feels like men get incredible character development because they're loved by women, while women slowly drain themselves being patient enough to wait for that development to happen.
Even my married or engaged friends who are genuinely happy say things like, "He's become such a better man because of our relationship." And I can't help but think... why does it feel like women are expected to be the catalyst? Like his personal growth goes from 2% a year to 10% because someone is investing emotional energy into him.
Maybe that's unfair. Maybe I'm projecting. I genuinely don't know.
Some examples that drive me insane:
He rage-baits instead of communicating. I can calmly explain something three times, and somehow I only get taken seriously after I block him or completely shut down.
He's extremely career-focused (which I respect), but he barely takes care of himself physically. I'm a huge gym person, so watching someone constantly work while neglecting their health genuinely frustrates me.
I'm already settled into my career, while he's still figuring life out. I know everyone grows at different speeds, but I constantly feel like I'm adjusting for where he is instead of meeting each other halfway.
And why do so many men become weirdly childish with their girlfriends? Everyone tells me it's "cute." I genuinely don't find it cute.
So now I'm questioning myself.
Am I just fundamentally unfit for relationships? I used to joke that my dream life was becoming the rich single wine aunt, and lately that sounds... peaceful.
Or are these unmet needs? Unrealistic expectations? PMS amplifying frustrations that already exist?
Also...
Men. Please stop rage-baiting your girlfriends. You're not debating strangers on the internet.
TL;DR: Every PMS I become convinced I hate men and question whether I'm even built for relationships. It feels like women spend years being patient while men do most of their growing because they're loved. I'm frustrated by emotional immaturity, poor communication, and constantly feeling like I'm waiting for my partner to "catch up." Is this PMS amplifying real issues, unrealistic expectations, or am I simply incompatible with relationships?