u/DumbXpert

I am from 21 batch and my internship just started. I am going regularly to my postings and it's really hitting me that this field is so toxic as well as hectic.

I am from one of those peripheral gmc and posting during our ug days were not so strict, just mostly timepass stuff. Yesterday i was posted in emergency and i had to perform sutures, it was my first time alone with patient and i just cant perform.(I havent had much practice of it beforehand as well). My hands trembled and i just cant forget it, its revolving in my mind that how incompetent i was.

Tremors were noticable and i am feeling very underconfident about all of it now.

I don't wanna bother my family members with this. I wanna quit the medical field but i have no answer to what i wanna do instead. I can't imagine myself going through all of this over and over again for my entire life.

Am basically clueless about my future. I don't wanna just keep studying.

I dont know if any of this makes sense to you reading it but i just can't imagine myself as future doctor in any ways. I don't feel any motivation to crack neet pg.

Recetly i switched from spotify to yt music, while i dont really have any problem with ui of yt music there are things i noticed which are small but kind of making my music listening experience bad, if you guys have any better solutions i would truly appreciate it.

1. Finding and playing new music on Yt music is kind of more difficult when compared, i don't know if its me who is finding this new ui difficult to navigate or just recommendation game of Yt music keeps pushing the same 2-3 songs i have played, kind of boring me. If you have any advice to keep getting fresh recommendations or any playlists that i should follow that are regularly updated, i would really appreciate it.

2. Lack of app on desktop is kind of annoying, i don't really want to keep my browser running in background. My laptop is kind of not on that high end and it is kind of exhausting my limited RAM more compared to spotify, making playing music in background while gaming kind of inconvinient. I can pile on about shitty desktop experience with very hyper specific in convinience but i guess you get my point. So any solutions around this would be highly appreciated.

I know this is not dhh or ihh specific problem but my music consumption is mainly around dhh so i figured this would be best sub.

Thanks for reading.