Help overcoming the last bit of disappointment around being "undateable"
Hello everyone.
So after a really dark moment of my life where i hurt myself i have been in therapy. Its been helpful in some ways, so have the pills im on now. After talking with doctors and therapists, im probably gonna be depressed for the rest of my life (yay for still being treatment resistant)
I have been trying to apply some of the acceptance i have learned in therapy to a part of my depression, the fact im undateable/unloveable. Im a depressed man with low self esteem, ugly as sin etc. Everything i have read online and offline has told me that kinda puts me in the unloveable category.
But thats ok!!
I have been thinking recently that its ok to be unloveable. Its no ones fault that i have depression. Its no ones fault i have low selfesteem or just look kinda werid. Thats ok. Its not a fatal flaw. I cant blame a woman for not wanting to date a broken person. I am broken and thats ok. It is no ones fault that no one really wants to love someone who can go into deep depression pits where unless they are working they struggle with basic self care for days at a time and might not even get out of bed. It is illogical and frankly toxic to think anything other than "ya thats undateable".
I have come to believe that its ok and its no ones fault and its just life.
Yet i still feel sad? I dont get it. I have accepted that i am broken, and broken means im unloveable. Yet i still feel sad about it sometimes. Sometimes i drags me down and i feel even more worthless than before.
Is there any tips or help i can get for getting rid of that sadness. To help myself accept this more?