u/DutyTemporary2563

I'm (28M) worked very hard for years in low paying entry level roles while studying for my certifications. Six months ago, I finally landed a big job at a tech firm with a salary that is triple what I used to make. I am finally able to save for a house and help my parents with their medical bills, which has always been my goal.
However, word about my new salary traveled fast through my extended family.
Last week, my aunt and uncle came to my house. They didn't even ask how I was doing. They immediately started talking about how their two children (my cousins, 18M and 20F) are struggling with their university tuition and lifestyle expenses.
They told me that since I am now rich and I don't have a wife or children yet, I should take over paying the tuition for both of my cousins. They said it is my responsibility. now that I have made it all because they help my father through school.
even had a breakdown of the costs ready to show me. It would take away almost 40% of my take home pay every month.
I told them no. I explained that I have only been at this job for six months. I am still building my own security, and I am already committed to helping my parents. I told them that my cousins can get part time jobs, just like I did when I was in school My aunt was not happy with me and said I have become arrogant and selfish because of money.
My uncle told me that I am turning my back on the people who cheered for me.
my mom is caught in the middle and is asking if I can at least pay for one of them to keep the peace.
I feel like I am being treated as a lottery ticket rather than a family member. I worked for this money, and I don't think I should have to fund my cousins' entire lives just because I finally have a good job.

Any advice on what to do please and AIW?

I'm (26F) have been working as a junior accountant for two years. My elder brother James (31M) has always had trouble keeping a job. He usually works for a few months, gets bored or has a .disagreement with his boss, and quits For the last year, I have been helping him out. I started by paying his phone bill and occasionally giving him money for gas. I felt bad for him because he is my brother and I wanted him to get back on his feet. But because I was giving him money, he stopped looking for work. He spent most of his time hanging out with friends. Three months ago, I decided to stop. I told him that I need to save for my self and that I cannot be his permanent bank account. I gave him a one month warning to find a job The deadline passed, and I stopped sending the money. Now, James is furious.
He called me selfish He said that since I have a stable job and no kids, I have plenty of extra cash that I should be sharing with family My mom is also taking his side. She calls me every day to tell me that James is struggling and that as his sister, I should be more supportive. She says that because he is the only son, it is important for him to keep up his appearances and not be stressed about money. She even suggested that I should pay his rent for a few months so he can find something doing, i pointed out that I am five years younger than him and I have worked hard for everything I have. I told my mom that by giving him money, we are just helping him stay lazy. My mom got angry and said I don't understand family loyalty.
Some of our relatives are messaging me, saying I should just pay the bills to keep the peace in the family. I feel like I am being manipulated into being his parent. I love my brother, but I don't think I should have to fund his lifestyle while he refuses to work.
AIW?