Recovering from a LONG dry spell?
I'm a 31M...I've been in my hometown, living with my parents and doing grad school for 3 years. In those 3 years, I haven't had sex or a date. It's a pretty small college town, about 200k. I've always struggled with women here and haven't had much success. I get barely any matches on apps here. Before coming back, I was living in a big city in Korea and doing well with women. In the past, I also lived in NY and LA...I did well in NYC, but couldn't get a date in LA. After I graduate in December, I'll go back to somewhere in East Asia. Anyways, this dry spell and unemployment combined has really diminished my self-esteem. I have a really high sex drive, but it's hard to imagine myself actually pursuing a woman again. I don't know why, but my anxiety and avoidance of trying with women is at it's 2nd highest point. In high school and college, I had repressed religious shame and bad social anxiety specifically in regards to dating. In my 20s, I "recovered". But now, I feel like I've regressed. In many ways actually, by living with my parents again, I think I've kinda fell into the same patterns and feelings I had as a teenager weirdly. I don't feel like a capable and independent adult man, which maybe is part of why I feel unworthy to date or whatever. Beyond dating, I also want to make new friends and what not when I move out. Recently, I've mostly spent time with my two closest male friends from high school. I feel nervous to go back out there and to meet new people again, although I know I want to do it. I've actually enjoyed spending time with myself lately, which is something I used to always hate. My anxiety when alone is lower than it's ever been, but it feels my social anxiety has ramped up big time. It makes me feel like a mentally weak weirdo. So, do you have any advice for me? I would appreciate any feedback or encouragement. Thank you.