Finding it hard to say goodbye
I’ve had my girl Bingo since March 6, 2025. I got her and her boyfriend together from a pet store. She was sick for the first time by March 14, 2025. Snuffles; but that’s pretty common and she could live with that. She’d get the occasional flare up but I cleaned their air purifier regularly. They got spayed and neutered so they had been separated and rebonded three different times and my partner and I were so happy that they could finally be together again and just, so genuinely happy. Their birthdays came and went (chose December 1) and we had our first Christmas together. They were so beautiful together.
Then Bingo got sick on February 9th. They didn’t know what it was. We threw every medication at her. We were so scared. And when we thought it was as bad as it could be, she got worse. She was rolling constantly, she couldn’t stand, would hardly eat, and had no control of her urination and defecation. But she never gave up, so neither did we. She was so happy when she got her treats and eventually started trying to binky. We thought we were in the clear, but every time we tried to decrease her medications she turned again. She’s been so strong and we just keep screwing it up just hoping that she’s been cured. We’re throwing all the meds back at her. We know that it’s going to shorten her lifespan if she improves again, but we aren’t going to stop the meds even if she’s doing better. Shortening her life to three years is still better than the one and a half that she’s had.
I don’t remember her anymore; not healthy at least. It’s taken so much from us, but I don’t want to give up on her when it seems like she isn’t ready to. She still honks and digs at her blankets. She thumps when her boyfriend is being a jerk and will run as fast as she can when a banana comes out. I don’t want to let her go. It’s not been long enough at all, but I don’t want it to be about me, even if I don’t know how I could possibly cope without her. I hate that this is an ethical dilemma that I have to go through at 24. But I’m a broke university student. I’m living in a house with my emotionally abusive mother because she helps with the bills. I love this rabbit more than myself at times. I’m so stuck and broken down by all of this. I don’t even know what I want out of this post. I just needed to rant really, and maybe have someone say it could get better. I don’t know. Thanks.