u/EYE_AM_C00KIE

POV: you’re doing a DoorDash delivery at night with NO porch light and suddenly see this little demon gargoyle panther thing staring at you from the darkness 😭

Why did I freeze like the customer personally ordered a cursed side quest with their food???

Mind you, I’m standing there with somebody’s tacos in my hand trying to decide if this was:
A) a statue
B) a real animal
C) the final boss

The way I had to build up courage just to walk to the door 😭 meanwhile the customer probably watching me through the window fighting for my life internally.

DoorDash really needs a “warning: decorative creature may steal your soul” feature before accepting deliveries.

But in fact, the beloved family dog DID bite. 😭

This furry little criminal waited until I handed off the order, turned around, and started walking back to my car before activating attack mode like I owed him money.

The craziest part was the owner staring directly at my leg afterward and saying:
“That’s not a bite, it’s just a tiny scratch. My dog doesn’t bite.”

Ma’am. Your dog literally ran a fade with an DoorDash driver. 💀

Meanwhile Animal Control was basically like:
“Actually… the bastard was unvaccinated and wasn’t being properly secured either.”

Dog got confiscated, citations were issued, and suddenly Mr. “He doesn’t bite” became evidence Exhibit A.