Constantly thinking about work?
Hello all. Reaching out to see if anyone is willing to help with a recent issue I've been having. Thank you for taking any time out of your day to lend me some advice.
I've been working for the same company for over nine years now, having started when I was 19 through a mentor refferal out of my local university. It was supposed to be a temporary "I'll put one year in then pursue hugh education" desk job. The money was great, and as I kept putting in time and getting promoted, obviously that fell through.
I have been promoted four times since, and was most recently promoted in June of 2025. The position I entered was something I'd determined was my final fork in the road to a career path. I studied for two years, passed 20+ exams, became licensed, did a six months mentorship, and shadowed others both desk and in-field.
I was hired on first application and felt immense pride as this position is insanely difficult to get into. My current boss even congratulated me, calling the position "nearly impossible" as my degree and prior work history before our company is not standard. I am very good at what I do. I worked my ass off, and both myself and my family are proud of my accomplishments. I bring up all this glazing because, as I approach a full year in this position, I'm realizing I can't stand this position.
Without going into the details, the work is difficult. My boss is a really nice guy who has high expectations. I was trying to hard to prove myself, and wanted to come across as competent and capable. And all that corporate has rewarded me with is a fancy title and more complex work. I dream about this job every night. Literally what I need to do, or scenarious about not being caught up, or what could happen if I don't make deadlines. When I stand at the stove, paint, watch television, stare at our aquarium, all I think about is work. What am I logging into tomorrow? What do I do about that appointment Thursday? What did my coworker say about that one case? I get anxiety waking up in the morning knowing what I have to do.
My husband has a reliable job that he deeply enjoys, but I bring in a majority of income. He says I should do what makes me happy, that he will try and get something else to make more, but I know he loves what he does. It's not fair to him for me to bow out just because I bit off more than I can chew. Additionally, we are financially dependant on this level of income, and have been trying for a family. This is a whole other issue as I am struggling to conceive, and the fertility doctor cannot explain why. Between these two things, my mental health is concerning.
I suppose I'm looking for any advice on how to handle this better. How do I stop dreaming about work? How do I prevent it from poisoning my hobbies, my life? I hate this job that I worked my ass off for. I need to come to terms with that and move on. I'm hoping anyone has any advice. I would deeply appreciate any help or wisdom. Thank you to anyone who can/is willing to share their own advice or experience. I appreciate your time 🙏