I asked a group of my close mates to be my groomsmen for my wedding because they genuinely mean a lot to me, and I thought they’d want to be there properly for such a big moment in my life.
One of the only things I asked was for everyone to wear the same suit so the bridal party would look coordinated. It’s not some crazy designer setup either—it’s around $90 for the full suit. To me, that feels pretty reasonable for being part of someone’s wedding, especially when it’s meant to be a once-in-a-lifetime event.
Instead of just agreeing and getting on with it, I’ve been dealing with constant pushback, excuses, complaints about money, and resistance from multiple groomsmen. While some are being honest about financial stress, it still feels frustrating because this isn’t some random night out—it’s my wedding. What hurts more is that it feels like there’s a lack of effort or willingness to simply show up for me the way I would for them without hesitation.
At this point, it’s made me question whether I made the wrong choice asking them to be groomsmen in the first place. I chose them because I saw them as my closest friends, but this whole situation has left me feeling pretty hurt, disappointed, and honestly disrespected.
For me, being a groomsman isn’t just about standing beside me on the day—it’s about showing support, effort, and actually caring enough to be part of it without making every request difficult.
Now I’m stuck wondering if my expectations are too high, or if it’s fair to feel let down that people I considered close friends are acting more like reluctant guests than genuine groomsmen.
Am I overreacting here, or is it reasonable to expect your groomsmen to put in this level of effort for your wedding?