I (21F) have been with my boyfriend for a while now, and overall things are good. He’s caring, consistent, and his actions show that he loves me. But lately I’ve been having these random waves of anxiety that make me feel like he’s going to pull away or doesn’t feel as close to me anymore… even though there’s no real evidence of that.
For example, today I was at his place basically all day. He was working, and I was just doing my own thing (studying, napping, watching shows). Everything felt normal. But after my nap (i had a dream where he was hiding something from me and was distant), I suddenly felt really unsettled/empty and disconnected and anxious. After i left his placeI called him once, it was fine, then I called again like an hour later and he was clearly a bit annoyed (which I understand). But I just been spiraling.
Now my brain is telling me things like “he’s getting tired of you,” “he doesn’t feel the same,” or “he’s going to leave,” even though logically I know his behavior doesn’t support that. He even reassured me and said everything is okay and that he loves me… but I still feel anxious and like I want to cry.
I don’t want to push him away by needing constant reassurance, and I don’t want to keep acting on these feelings when I know they’re probably not grounded in reality. But in the moment it feels SO real and overwhelming.
Has anyone experienced this kind of anxiety in a relationship where everything is technically fine? How do you calm yourself down and stop the spiral without relying on your partner to fix it?
Any advice would honestly help. PSA: i am looking into therapy