Emptiness as a young person
I think that my life has always had an emptiness within it. When you're a child you just occupy yourself, until you realize that you're occupying yourself. Why? Something is wrong, you can't attach yourself to life, everything takes place behind a pane of glass and you're on the other side. I see people on reddit talking about how their lives have suddenly become empty at 30 or whatever older age, but what am I supposed to do if I've always felt like this? Things seemed to be getting better, but recently the emptiness has been completely consuming. The only thing that brings me a bit of happiness is humor and doing schoolwork with a few people, but I still know that there's a barrier, that I'm not a normal person and I never have and I never will be. Why penetrate beyond the norm of conversation? I usually can't relate to others and if I tried to show how I really felt it would seem odd, because I'm barely a human to others I'm a character I'm just too different. I can't satisfy myself with anything it's so torturous. What is there in life?