I’m always apologizing for my parents but rarely do they apologize to me
I grew up in a household that was loving but had its issues, many issues. I understand my parents are trying their best but I have noticed some built up resentment that doesn’t seem to want to go away. I forgive my parents for their faults, and out of fear of God I try to be good to them. Sometimes I’m not perfect so I do get annoyed or angry mostly at my father, but I always end up apologizing. Sometimes he gets impatient and speaks in a harsh way to me, or try’s to control me but I have to tell him not to and he usually never apologizes to me. Now I feel like the dynamic is he is always the victim and gets butthurt but never expresses that, but you can tell he is holding it in and I guess expecting an apology. He also thinks very negatively about himself, like he feels like no one respects him and he is not appreciated. And he never talks, like it’s rare. Because of this I have a lot of subconscious resentment, I say subconscious because I told myself I forgive but it seems my heart feels something else. I feel really bad that I feel this way because I love my parents and want to love and appreciate them while they are still here. I’m think distance is rhe only way to solve this. What do you think.