I feel like I ruined my life. I’m a 20 yr old junior biology student with nothing to show for myself.
I don’t care for my major, my grades suck. I only chose biology because I wanted to be a doctor for the prestige and money but with my bad grades there is no way I can get into med school. And I also have little passion for medicine. My parents are immigrants that helped pay for my schooling and I still don’t know what I’m doing. I’m failing my classes. I don’t know anything about my major. In my free time I read and waste time day dreaming and writing. I decided against English because I was afraid of graduating without good job prospects. Now even if I switched to English, why would anyone hire me? My gpa is terrible after all the science courses I took. And I’m so behind all of my peers. I just feel hopeless, confused, sad and embarrassed. My depression, anxiety and adhd has just made the journey more painful. I have no idea where to go from here. I just want to make my parents proud and support them when they’re old.
How do other students do it? Do they passionate about their major, are they satisfied and happy with just doing it for money. I feel like I’ve done everything I could possibly do wrong. I could’ve atleast picked a major I was passionate about and gotten a high gpa, or forced myself to work harder and become a strong prospect for med school. Now I just have bad grades in a major I hate, with zero prospects after school, at a school where I have no friends.
I have finals in one week for a bunch of classes I know nothing about. My life feels like a never ending nightmare. And the thought of telling my parents I want to change my major is terrifying, they might actually kill me.
It just feels like I made every bad choice I could possibly make during college.