I'm a cisgender, lesbian woman and I've had submissive fantasies for years at this point. I'm happily / monogamously married and not looking for a sexual encounter. My wife totally supports this but has requested that I see a professional rather than participate in recreational kink spaces (to ensure that lines aren't blurred). Because of the public-facing nature of my career, I don't think I could attend public kink events anyway.
There are many professional Dominatrices in the city I live in, and they seem lovely, but most of their websites are very tailored for a male audience. It all feels very male gaze-y. And I love that for them, but I feel unsure how I would even fit in that space. I don't want yet another scenario in my life where I don't fit because of my sexual orientation.
Yes, I realize that some of what I'm describing is my own internalized homophobia, and I'm working on that. I was raised in a really conservative culture and might struggle to express my own sexual excitement for / aesthetic appreciation of a professional Dominatrix. In other words, I might be a little stilted in a BDSM scene. I'm not at all stilted in my appreciation of my wife, but obviously I love and trust her, so it's different. How would I navigate this conversation with a professional Dominatrix without over-sharing? I don't want to trauma dump to a stranger, but I also don't want her to be slighted if I'm not expressive in my appreciation of her.
Note: please do not DM me with offers to scene. I plan to find a professional on my own. Thanks!
Edit: thank you, everyone, for these kind replies. I get that this is kind of a complex issue, so I appreciate all the perspectives here. This conversation has definitely pointed me in the right direction, I think.